Slim Randles' Home Country
Conscriptin’ along toward certain abolishment
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[June 18, 2016]
this for a minute, boys,” Windy said, sadly shaking his head at the
King Arthur memorial round table at the Mule Barn truck stop. “I
mean to say, well you know them ladies actually asked me to be their
We nodded and sipped our early afternoon coffee.
“I mean, all I done was tell ‘em I had new thoughts on our future
and suggested it would make a good speechify for their Ladies
Literary League and Garden Society meeting. And after I done that
for maybe a month, they invited me to come to the lunch and deliver
my pregnastications for ‘em. So I did. Today. Even paid for my
lunch, bless ‘em.”
“Sounds like fun, Windy,” Doc said.
“You’da thunk, eh?” Windy said. “But I was in for an existictual
surprise, I can tell ya that. I mean, I had it all spread out for
‘em. You know. How we was conscriptin’ along toward certain
abolishment of oblivity and such, and them ladies .. all of ‘em …
even Mrs. Doc … wouldn’t look me in the eye.
“Well, you know I finagulated that speechify book out of the library
last week in preparatory for this speech, and it said you had to
make eye contact with the audience. No … it really did. So I was eye
contactin’ them, but they wouldn’t eye contact me back, boys. Not a
Windy sucked down some caffeine and looked up at the Pepsi sign over
the steer horns on the wall.
“Gotta tell ya, I thought them ladies was nicer’n that. And after we
was done with lunch, they didn’t even look me in the eye when they
thanked me for coming. Thassa fact.”
[to top of second
“And then you came straight here, Windy?” Doc
“Shore did. Straight here.”
Doc started laughing. “Windy, your fly’s open.”
[Text from file received from
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