Slim Randles' Home Country
Be thankful for stupid turkeys
Send a link to a friend
[November 17, 2018]
“You see that sunset last night?” Steve said. “Now
that was a honey.”
“I’ll say,” said Doc. “You know, with Thanksgiving on us, I have to
tell you I’m very thankful for sunsets like that one.” |
Those of us who don’t live in the big cities tend
to be thankful for different things than those who may live in
stucco cliff dwellings. We tend to look at the natural blessings
more than the manmade ones. Our gratitude extends past not having
our teenager go to jail, or for the raise we just got at the
factory. Our favorite ball team can win or lose on its own without
our having to look for Divine Intervention, usually. We tend to be
grateful for other things, like calves in the spring, and how clean
they look before they discover mud.
We are deeply grateful that tasty rabbits arrive in large litters,
and bears don’t. When we think about it, we are thankful that we get
eggs from hens and not from rattlesnakes, as checking the rattler
house each morning could get ‘way too exciting.
When you consider that porcupines have quills, and not deer, it
gives us pause for praise, and we’re happy that it’s skunks who
carry scent glands and not squirrels.
We are thankful, too, that hurricanes and tornadoes only happen in
warm weather. It’s bad enough to lose the barn without being
chill-factored to death while it’s happening.
“Turkeys,” Dud said, sipping his coffee.
![](http://archives.lincolndailynews.com/2018/Nov/17/images/ads/current/pestcontrol_bch_termites.png) [to top of second
column] |
![](http://archives.lincolndailynews.com/2018/Nov/17/images/ads/current/agland_lda_FAIR_2017.png)
“What?”
“I’m thankful turkeys are stupid. Ever looked in a turkey’s eyes?
Not only is no one home, but there was a mass evacuation sometime
during the Eisenhower Administration. A turkey has just enough
brains to operate his heart and lungs.”
![](http://archives.lincolndailynews.com/2018/Nov/17/images/ads/current/ldn_more_readers_bch.png)
“You’re thankful for that?” Doc said.
“Sure,” said Dud. “If turkeys had been given the rudimentary
intelligence of a garden snail, we might be forced to eat sheep on
Thanksgiving.”
[Text from file received from
Slim Randles]
|