Tracy, Hannah and Lori Thomas

 

How to explain shelter in place to an older child with special needs
 

[April 10, 2020]    It can be a challenge to explain the pandemic and shelter-in-place to a child. Having an adult child with special needs who may not understand what is going on in the world presents another challenge. It is one some local families are facing.

Tracy and Lori Thomas’s daughter Hannah is not little any more. As Tracy said, “She is 23 years old and a little overweight, [which is] the result of her Prader-Willi Syndrome and the daily struggle with food. But one part remains young: her mind. She functions as a three to four-year-old and understands her world on varying levels.”

So how do they explain the world today so she can understand? Tracy said, “The short answer is – we don’t. Honesty compels me to admit that as her parents, WE don’t understand everything that is going on.”

However as the Thomas’s said, “We have a faith that puts its trust in a sovereign God. As Job reminds us, trust in that sovereign control often means that we put our hands over our mouth (Job 40:4).”

But the silence doesn’t mean that the Thomas’s stop listening to Hannah. Tracy said, “She talks…a lot. On the surface, her train of thought appears to be off the tracks. Her words are often disjointed and bear little similarity to what she just said a moment before. But make no mistake – there is a pattern. Her words reveal the emotions of the moment.”

Part of Hannah’s pattern is that she often repeats words. Tracy said her latest word is “contagious.” Although we have tried to shield her from the news, she picks up on a lot. When she speaks, we listen. She will often make her statements into questions by adding one word to the end – “Right?”

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Tracy said Hannah is trying to process [everything] and we have learned it is good to just be there and let her talk, responding with our own “Right?” every now and then.

Does she understand? No. Tracy said Hannah doesn’t understand why her developmental day program (she calls it “school”) is closed. We try to talk in terms of what is familiar to her—so this is kind of like when we used to have a long summer break from school (except it’s different).

In addition, Tracy said Hannah doesn’t understand why church is on the computer screen. Her compassionate heart cannot fathom why so many people talk about getting sick.

Therefore, Tracy and Lori sit beside Hannah and in doing so we remind her that she is not alone in her fear. We provide for her needs. When she wakes, we greet her. When she goes to sleep, the last face she sees is ours.

For the Thomas’s, their faith helps them through these challenging times. Tracy said, “We don’t understand, so we cast our anxieties on the One who loves us (I Peter 5:7). The Lord provides for her and for us. How do we explain things to Hannah?” As the Thomas’s said, “We can’t. We just try to live and love like Jesus.”

[Angela Reiners]