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 Doc had just finished bringing us up to date on
the world’s fight against the covid-19 virus when ol’ Windy Wilson
raised his eyes.
“Now don’t ya find, Doc,” he said, “that the worse stuff in this old
life is the junk ya can’t see?”
Doc looked puzzled, so Windy continued. “Aw, you know. It’s them
mitrascopic stuff that are really dangerous to us.”
Doc nodded.
“Now you jest take in there a braymer bull? He can stomp a guy inta
furry, pink Jell-o. And then dance on them bullfighters whilst
they’re a-tryin’ to git yer carcass outa the reenur. But see this
here now. That there bull is purty dang big. Big enough to ride,
right? So that means he’s big enough so’s you kin get outa his way
if he comes a-stompin.”
Windy, our favorite camp cook, cowboy, philosopher, and interpreter
of the English language, sipped on his coffee and looked at us each
in turn. “Now, can you see them coronary vibration bugs? No way! Too
dang small. They’ll sneak up on a guy, get married and have pups and
then kill ya deader’n a hammer!
“Thass why, at the conjugal finish a-my thinkin’, I’m puttin’ them
bugs in secondary place on my list of all-time tiny mean stuff.”
“Only second place?” said Herb, “What’s worse’n dying, Windy?”
“Cactus hairs,” he said. “A-course. Ya know, them
miterscopic stickers that you can’t see when your eyes is nekkid.
But ya know they’s there, doncha? Oh yes, Aunt Sarah, I’ll say ya
do!” [to top of second
column] |
Windy nodded, agreeing with
himself. No one else did, but that isn’t really necessary with
Windy.
“Only way ya kin tell ya got ‘em is when ya brush up agin’ somethin’,
like a shirt cuff or somethin’. Hurts like the Civilian War, it
does, but ya can’t see it.”
He leaned forward and whispered. “It’s flambastically insidulouss!
“And you kin tell ‘em I said so.”
[Text from file received from
Slim Randles]
Ol' Jimmy Dollar
is Slim Randles' first children's book. The book is for kids
K-3rd grades and is even better when parents read it with children.
Ol' Jimmy Dollar makes for sweet dreams and if you have a dog
even better. Available now on Amazon.
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