How to Have a Civil Conversation When You Disagree with Someone Politically

 

[June 27, 2024] 

Have you ever wondered how to talk politics amicably with that uncle, in-law or elected public official whose views are the polar opposite of yours?

You are not alone. Dr. Gina M. Masullo joined the League of Women Voters of Illinois (LWVIL) on June 19 to discuss research-backed approaches to talking with someone you disagree with politically.

“Each side is generally so enmeshed in their own personal views that it may be difficult to have a civil conversation,” Dr. Masullo said. “But talking across differences may increase understanding.”

Dr. Masullo, who is Associate Director of the Center for Media Engagement and an Associate Professor in the School of Journalism and Media at the University of Texas at Austin, offered four steps to increase understanding.

Prepare for the conversation. Choose who you really want to have the conversation with, then get into the right mindset, mentally and physically. Give yourself a “self-compassion” pep talk. Help reduce stress by doing the “Superman pose”: stand with your arms overhead in a V shape. Psychology shows the physical act encourages the production of high testosterone levels and low cortisol (stress hormone) levels in the bloodstream, thereby elevating self-esteem and boosting confidence.

What to say. Be humble. Ask questions with genuine openness. Be an advocate for your point of view rather than an opponent of the other side. Bring up a shared belief to show what you have agreed on, then ask questions to try to understand their point of view. Don’t assume because they belong to a political party that they follow the party line or even know its positions.

What to do if people get upset. First, avoid telling someone to “calm down.” They may feel like it’s an order or that they’re being patronized, and resist. Use person-centered language as a way to correct someone so they can retain their dignity. Don’t use “loaded language,” which refers to words and phrases that elicit a strong emotional response from the reader or listener.

When to end the conversation. It’s time to back away when you feel attacked, threatened or are the victim of a racist, sexist or homophobic remark. You can always end a conversation or just walk away.

Presented by LWVIL’s Mis/Disinformation Task Force, the talk was part of a statewide effort to provide Illinoisans with tools and resources needed to educate voters. Watch a recording of the program at bit.ly/mdtf619.

Founded in 1919, the League of Women Voters of Illinois is a nonpartisan organization that encourages informed and active participation in government. It influences public policy through education and advocacy and does not support or oppose any political parties or candidates. With over 100 years of experience and more than 800 local and state affiliations, the League is one of America’s most trusted grassroots organizations. Membership in the League is open to people ages 16 and over. For further information, visit lwvil.org.

To address the troubling rise of misinformation and disinformation—and its impact on our elections—the League of Women Voters of Illinois formed the Mis/Disinformation Task Force in January 2024 with the goal of educating the general public on misinformation and disinformation. For more information, visit lwvil.org/misdis-info.

[Text received from Becky Simon]