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Now one thing’s for dang shore, everwho come up with
drugstore language should be roped and dragged out in the brush and
wearin’ a big sign that jest says “Guilty.” No need to get more
infinitesimal than that until he’s through bouncin’ through the
puckerbrush.
As I’m shore you know, since our choice of subject today is
arithmeticals and has to do with the language we speak, this here is
yore ol’ pal and philosophizer Windy Wilson. Slim usually does
these, but he looks the other way sometimes if I sneak by him. You
know. Only when it’s a universal primalchordium that applicates to
all of us, of course.
So here’s the skinny, and I’m shore you recognizate it, too.
Drugstore language was invented by some guy who thought he was
educationin’ the world by teachin’ ‘em a new language. Used to be,
there was aspirin. Now that ain’t too bad. Spelled it right, too,
cuz we been starin’ at it by the sink since Spot was a pup.
But you know how them educators get. You don’t stop at aspirin, oh
no, you gotta rename all the pills ever made so no one can pronounce
‘em. Like
Tramexabuteral. That one has somethin’ to do with curin’ the
miseries, but I don’t rememberate which part of you needs to be
fixed.
But don’t you worry, cuz them druggist guys and doctor guys went to
college for a hunnert years to learn that, and it’s dang few that
want to share.
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Wouldn’t it be a heckuva lot easier to jest walk in
and ask for a pill to make it easier to use the … little house? You
know. But that would jest make sense and would embarrass the doctors
and nurses and pharmacinders in our lives cuz they couldn’t show off
any more.
Wish we could try it out, like askin’ for a bottle of
Leftleglimpnomore or Catchanoserunnin’. That’s why it takes
down-to-earth kinda philosofickals like me to set the tone for
universality-type improvements. And you can tell ‘em I said so.
[Text from file received from
Slim Randles]
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