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"It’s
best to start early, but it’s never too late — a step by step
guide for every age." This statement from the book "How To
Talk To Your Child About Sex" is the foundation for the message
conveyed to the reader. Authors Linda and Richard Eyre have written
a frank and open manual designed to help parents discuss with their
children the important topic of sex.
According
to the authors, this book is an elaboration of a particular chapter
in their 1993 bestseller, "Teaching Your Children Values."
That chapter on sexual values elicited the greatest response from
readers — so much so that the Eyres decided to devote an entire
book to the subject.
They
write in the introduction, "Our discussions with parents around
the world…have convinced us that parents want and need practical,
useable help. They want to know how to talk to their kids about sex
in a positive, pragmatic way."
The
book employs two important literary devices — the use of model
dialogues and the incorporation of certain fundamental themes. The
authors’ explanation of the model dialogues is simple:
"First, give a clear model for explaining the mechanics and the
facts to the kids, and, second, extend most of the dialogues to
include how beautiful and awesome sex can be when it happens in a
committed, loyal, exclusive-love relationship." Using these
dialogues, the authors emphasize certain themes throughout:
smallness (the interchange between parents and children), love,
pre-emptive information, family, correct principles, realism and a
focus on the personal.
In
the introduction, "What Parents Face Today," the authors
discuss the problem of talking to kids about sex and suggest
solutions for approaching this delicate subject. In addition to the
model dialogues, there are a series of discussions that parents can
have with their children about sex, safety, commitment and marriage.
A bonus feature is a list of the questions most commonly asked by
parents who attend the authors’ lectures and seminars. Concluding
the introduction is a section on "Personal Tips for
Parents" — or as the authors call it, "timing, content,
and techniques — the when, the what, and the how."
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this review]
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Following
the introduction are the chapters that contain the essence of the
book’s message — the five "dialogues and discussions"
that have age-specific information on the topic of sex.
Chapter
1 covers the age group 3 to 8 and emphasizes the discussions that
parents should have with children to prepare them for the "big
talk" on sex they will have at an older age. That "big
talk" comes in Chapter 2, a chapter that targets 8-year-olds.
This is a very candid talk with the child about sex and values. By
the time the child reaches the ages of 8 to 13 years, Chapter 3
builds on the foundation of the "big talk" and recommends
the types of discussions that can reinforce this message.
At
the age group of 11 to 16 years, children’s lives are shaped by
different priorities. Chapter 4 shifts the focus from teaching the
child about sex to teaching about "how to view (and what to do
with) sex. It’s a question now of attitude and behavior rather
than knowledge." In the chapter for 15- to 19-year-olds,
discussions, short essays and poetry are used to stimulate thought
and perspective on what’s been learned about sex. The authors
believe that this "open or equal approach shows respect for
your teen and shows that these are issues you (the parent) deal with
too."
The
unique instructional format found in "How To Talk To Your Child
About Sex" makes this a valuable tool for explaining the
subject of sex to your child. Parents of children ages 3 through 19
will find practical information combined with sound advice as they
prepare to meet this difficult challenge. Although the book does not
contain an index, its chapter arrangement by age group makes it easy
to browse. Combining frank, honest dialogue with current information
about sex and values, "How To Talk To Your Child About
Sex" is highly recommended to parents who are preparing to
discuss the topic of sex with their children.
For
more information, visit the library at 725 Pekin St. or call (217)
732-8878.
[Richard Sumrall, Lincoln
Public Library District]
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