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After
15 to 20 years with a substantial hearing loss, my interest in the subject
has shifted considerably. My files suggest that I must have been absorbed
at first with consulting specialists, buying the latest devices and
accumulating related literature.
 I’ve
learned that a hearing loss will probably always be a part of life, and not
a terribly bad part at that. I’m more interested now in simple, everyday
ideas for better communication, with or without excellent physical
capacities for hearing.
Here are three little ideas from the quieter side:
- Talk
less.
- Slow
down.
- Check
for understanding.
From
a personal standpoint, there’s less for me to try to figure out if
people talk less.
I
recall a quotation from George Washington Carver, who was inventive enough
to make 300 products from peanuts. He said, “You never saw a heavy thinker with his mouth
open. Stop talking so much.”
Consider
what you say in a day’s time and how much of it really needs to be said.
Talking more doesn’t always clarify matters. Sometimes it clouds the
issue. Talk can also be time-consuming. If your schedule is crowded, maybe
talk is one area where you could cut back. In addition, talking less gives
you a chance to listen more, generally improving the quality of your
communication.
(If
you already follow the non-talking patterns of “Silent Cal” Coolidge,
the former president, this doesn’t necessarily apply to you.)
Talking
slower probably sounds like a way to avoid tripping over your tongue.
It’s also good news for a person with limited hearing. Slower talk helps
as much or more than louder talk, especially if the person listening
already has artificial amplification. Excess volume distorts sound. If a
person who is already talking loudly raises his voice, I often understand
less. I have to wait for the person to calm down and slow down.
 Besides
allowing for echoes to subside, silences between sentences and paragraphs
allow time for processing information. A single spoken word contains many
elements of sound data, and a person with poor hearing receives fewer of
those than a person with normal hearing does. Everyone uses guesswork to
some extent to fill in the gaps, especially in noisy places. A person who
has less to go on needs more time to identify the auditory clues, allow
for missing parts, consider the context, notice visual clues, factor in
past experience with the subject matter and with the speaker, and come up
with an educated (or creative) guess about what was said.
Some
cultures understand the benefits of silent spaces in conversation better
than we do. A man who worked with aboriginal people in northern North
America wrote about a lesson he learned from one of the natives. The
person reminded him that in their culture it is considered impolite in
meetings to respond immediately to what another person says. Those
listening are expected to allow time for everyone to respectfully consider
the message.
No
matter how much or little we talk, no matter how fast or slow, loud or
soft, communication remains a joint process that requires everyone to
share the responsibility. To illustrate, a man told a story about
preparing for a seminar. The auditorium wasn’t ready, so he asked
someone to help set up chairs. She smiled and nodded politely to his
greeting. The next time he came past, nothing had been done. Eventually
the other person responded in another language, saying that she didn’t
understand English. For
people with severe hearing losses, their native tongue can also sound like
a foreign language, (while the written version is still understandable).
 Even
if people have perfect hearing, they can easily fail to understand what
others mean. It happens all the time. Psychologists sometimes recommend
that individuals in troubled relationships verbally reflect back to each
other what they have heard. It’s a technique that also helps when
hearing itself is a problem. In the most difficult communication
situations, each person may need to go halfway or more to make sure that
messages are exchanged effectively. If another person checks periodically
to find out what I’ve understood, I’m also more likely to ask for
clarification as needed. When maximum accuracy is required and writing
isn’t practical, I repeat whatever I hear so the other person can check.
Another part of understanding is to accept that there are situations when
I won’t know what is said.
People
with physically fine hearing and speech aren’t always good
communicators. There are also people with physical limitations in hearing
or speaking who communicate well. Physical capabilities are not the only
relevant issue. Less than normal hearing will always be a reality for many
of us, but everyone can work toward better communication skills.
Internet sources of
information about hearing health:
http://www.shhh.org/
http://www.theearfound.org
http://www.hearinghealthmag.com
http://www.searchwave.com/search/searchwave.cgi
[Mary
Krallmann]
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