Never one to
use the telephone much, I've paid mostly for the privilege of keeping the
wire plugged into the wall and connected with the outside world.
This year so
far there has been more phone activity than usual. A doctor changed jobs,
so I had to make new arrangements for my records, and insurance changes
are also in process. Last month, for example, I made five calls. Dividing
the basic monthly phone rate by the number of calls, the average was about
$5.
The month
before, I placed four calls and conversed with one person who called me.
Again, that was $5 per call.
I suppose it
was worth $5 in peace of mind for my mother to know that I got back safely
from a trip.
I'm not sure
if making a haircut appointment was worth $5, in addition to the cost of
the haircut, but calling ahead was better than repeated trips for a
walk-in cut if the shop was busy.
The most
unproductive call was worth $5 in entertainment value only, and only after
the frustration wore off. I didn't time the session, but on tape (TTY
paper, similar to cash register tape) it filled 16½ inches.
On a
Saturday I'd noticed a parked car with its lights on and attempted to
notify someone in a nearby building, not open to the public. First I
reached a recording with options to dial an extension number, a directory
for extensions, or to stay on the line for a receptionist if I was calling
during regular business hours, which I wasn’t.
The
communications assistant handling my call through the voice-TTY relay
center had to redial for the extension directory because the initial
attempt was disconnected. Next, the system didn’t recognize the name I
suggested, and the whole process began to feel familiar.
I had tried
to make a similar report once before and had difficulty reaching a person.
I couldn't remember for sure what the solution was that time.
I found
another number to try, but there was no answer even after 10 rings.
I suggested
still another number and got another recording, which again caused me a
problem because I wasn’t calling when anyone was in the office. (If you
forget to turn off your lights, remember to do it during business hours.)
I thought of a different entry to try in the directory, but the program
reported, "The letters you entered don't match any names in our
system." Evidently names of places weren’t included.
Then I
thought of the name of someone who worked there, and the relay assistant
dialed for me again (the sixth time). The call went through to another
answering machine. I concluded that if I left a message and the person
responded "as soon as possible," that would probably be on
Monday, so I didn't bother.
With thanks
and apologies to the assistant at the relay center, I discontinued my
calling attempts.
I decided to
try another method. As I started out walking, a light went on in my mind.
I found a security person a short distance away, reported the car lights,
and he followed up immediately.
Alexander Graham Bell invented a
wonderful way to carry messages from place to place, but sometimes two
feet work better and faster. Of course, additional unsuccessful phoning attempts would reduce my average cost per call, but I’d call it
a waste of time and effort.
