Features

‘Broken Promise’ and ‘New Beginnings’

[FEB. 24, 2001]  Thirteen years ago, Patti Austin of Springfield began a divorce-recovery program at Westside Christian Church. Since that time, the program has expanded to Lincoln, Taylorville, Riverton and even out of state. There are 30 congregations that have begun Austin’s divorce-recovery program. Due to the great need for divorce counseling, Westside now has a waiting list for its biannual, 14-week program.

Austin developed her program out of "a need she saw in her own children and the children of single parents in her church." Austin used her own experience — she was divorced and a single parent for nine years — and the help of a professional counselor to write the program’s curriculum. The first edition of the program took a year to write and focused on single parents who were widowed, never married or divorced. The program has since been rewritten to focus on parents and children hurt specifically by a divorce.

 

The most important aspect of her program is that it focuses on adults and children both. She has seen several models that help just the children, but Austin believes that parents and children need help to heal together.

Just three years after Austin began the program in Springfield, members of Jefferson Street Christian Church heard of the program and asked her to help them begin the same program in Lincoln. Austin agreed, and now Lincoln’s program is 10 years old. Several of the program-trained counselors help in Lincoln’s divorce-recovery program because they have gone through divorces and want to help participants better relate to what they are facing.

For the past three years, Joyce Bechtel has been coordinating Lincoln’s program, but this year she is training Steve Elkins and Sarah Wilson to replace her. Bechtel began volunteering six years ago because she "saw that it was a good program" and that it was a way of supporting those families who could not afford weekly counseling. She decided to step down to focus on teaching the children in "Broken Promise."

The divorce-recovery program actually has two divisions: "Broken Promise" for children and "New Beginnings" for adults. These two programs are advertised for families, but adults without children are welcome as well. Even the parts of the class that focus on how children feel and behave can be helpful to an individual without children, because he or she may remarry and have stepchildren.

The goal of both programs is to give families tools to reconstruct their lives. One of the coordinators, Sarah Wilson, said the purpose of "Broken Promise" is to give children "a neutral environment where they can express their feelings." Teachers, trained by professional counselors, help children move through different emotional stages: denial/guilt, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance and hope. If the teachers see that a child needs more help than they can offer, they are able to recommend local, professional counselors to the parent.

 

"New Beginnings" also has its own goals. Teachers and counselors help parents, just like the children, move through the emotional stages. The program teaches parents which feelings and problems to expect in their children of different ages. Four- to 6-year-olds tend to be clingy and whiny because they fear abandonment. Eight- to 9-year-olds often worry about the family’s income and provisions. Some children, usually the oldest, appear to adjust very smoothly. They maintain their composure for the sake of the family, but they typically are damming up a flood of emotions. Counselors refer to this as the Sleeper Syndrome and warn parents to prepare for that child to collapse.

Wilson, the coordinator, joked that this is a program where children play and parents have homework. Single parents may have assignments such as: make an effort to express your feelings this week, allot 10 minutes a day per child for one-on-one time or have a family activity this week.

Nine volunteer teachers plan to work with the children this year: Joyce Bechtel, Randy and Debbie Bruns, Cynthia Clark, Cheryl Frank, Deborah Martinsic, Allen and Melanie Shew, and Larry Simonson. The directors plan not to exceed a student-teacher ratio of 3-to-1 for the younger grades and 5-to-1 in the older grades, so that the children may have the individual attention they crave. The children’s classes are divided into five age groups: 4 years to second grade, third and fourth grade, fifth and sixth grade, seventh and eighth grade, and high school.

 

 

[to top of second column in this article]

The children’s curriculum is as follows:

  • Week 1 — Introduction to the course
  • Week 2 — "Emotions"
  • Week 3 — "The Family"
  • Week 4 — "Denial"
  • Week 5 — Meet your leader
  • Weeks 6 and 7 — "Anger"
  • Week 8 — "Bargaining"
  • Week 9 — "Guilt"
  • Week 10 — "Depression"
  • Week 11 — "Acceptance and Hope"
  • Week 12 — "Forgiveness"
  • Week 13 — Review and closing program

Two volunteer teachers, Steve Elkins and Sarah Wilson, team-teach the adult program with professional counselors.

The parents’ curriculum is as follows:

  • Week 1 — Introduction to the course
  • Weeks 2 to 4 — "The Grief Process"
  • Week 5 — Parents meet with their child’s counselor
  • Week 6 — "Communication with Children"
  • Week 7 — "Assertive Disciple"
  • Weeks 8 and 9 — "Shared Parenting"
  • Week 10 — "You and Your Ex-Spouse"
  • Week 11 — "Anger and Guilt"
  • Week 12 — "Forgiveness"
  • Week 13 — "Dating and Intimacy" and closing program

Participants are asked if there are specific topics they need addressed. In the past, an attorney came to class to answer legal questions. A minister often comes in on the 12th week to discuss forgiveness.

Anyone who has gone through a divorce is welcome to enroll in the program. The divorce may be recent or it may be a while in the past. Often children’s emotional development is stunted at the time of a divorce, and counseling, even years later, can rekindle emotional development.

Members of other congregations and non-church attendees are all welcome. There is not pressure to join Jefferson Street or Lincoln Christian churches.

For single parents who bring their children, or single individuals, the cost is the same: $15. If parents send their children without participating themselves, the cost almost doubles, because the program is designed to help the family.

Registration for "Broken Promise" and "New Beginnings" is on a first-come, first-served basis, so it is important that interested families register early. The adult classes usually have eight to 15 participants but can hold up to 25. The children’s classes usually have 15 to 20 children in the combined age groups.

Due to the confidential nature of this program, counselors were unable to give specific success stories. The counselors do sense that parents appreciate the help and information they receive on how to relate to their children. Wilson did say that she not only received a compliment on the program from a participant but also witnessed a word-of-mouth recommendation for the program.

Bechtel knows of one family who was so blessed by the program that they enrolled a second time. The mother said that "Broken Promise" and "New Beginnings" was the best program in which she had participated. She has since referred many friends.

In the future, Lincoln’s coordinators would like to see "Broken Promise" and "New Beginnings" grow. They are not hoping for more broken families but instead hope more divorced individuals and families use the program. If needed, the coordinators hope to do two cycles a year instead of one. They would also like to see other congregations adopt a similar program.

Bechtel compliments the program for "teaching parents how to deal with their children." Wilson reminds interested individuals and families that the program is a "non-threatening environment to help you get the tools you need to navigate sometimes rough waters. We’re just here to care about you. . . .this is not a place of judgment."

 

If you want more information on the 14-week program or plan to enroll this year, please call Jefferson Street Christian Church at 732-9294. The course begins for adults and children on Monday, March 5, at 7 p.m. at 1700 N. Jefferson St. Each class session begins at 7 p.m. and ends about 8:15 p.m.

If you live in the Springfield area, contact Westside Christian Church at 793-2800 to enroll in their program. The present cycle has already begun there, but they will have a second cycle later in the year. Call early, because their classes fill quickly.

[Jean Ann Carnley]

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From the Illinois Nurserymen’s Association

Gardening tips

February 2001

[FEB. 3, 2001]  Spring is just around the corner, and for those of us who love to garden, the sooner spring decides to arrive, the better! February is traditionally a month of mixed-up weather, with some really nice, spring-like days and some really cold, gray winter days. On those nice, spring-like days, when you want to get outside and do something, here’s a list that you can keep in mind.

  • Cut back your ornamental grasses and perennials. Now is a great time to do this because the plants are still dormant, so it is unlikely that the tender crown of the plant will be damaged.

  • Maintain your equipment. Sharpen your lawn mower blades, change the oil in your tiller, sharpen your pruning shears and shovels. A properly sharpened tool can make a world of difference!

  • Start your seeds indoors. If you are planning on growing some of your own bedding plants or vegetable plants, now is the time to get them growing. An Illinois Certified Nursery Professional (ICN-Pro) at your local garden center can help you with the individual varieties.

  • Meet with your local landscape designer to plan your new garden areas. Whether you want to create a new butterfly garden, a water garden or landscape your entire home, your landscape designer will be able to help you lay out your bed lines and pick the best plant material for your site.

  • If you have a wildflower garden, February is the month to maintain it. Generally, the best maintenance for a wildflower or prairie garden is fire. However, please check your local town, city or village ordinance on burning. For recommendations on maintaining your wildflower garden, visit your local garden center.

 

[to top of second column in this article]

  • Make your lawn maintenance plans now! It’s never too early to get your name on your garden center’s lawn maintenance list. Whenever your lawn needs fertilizer, weed spray or seeding, or whenever you need recommendations, now is the time to start talking with your lawn care professional.

  • Prune your grape vines and fruit trees now before the buds begin to break. Also be ready to apply your first application of Fertilome spray (captan/malathion) for fruit trees. Pick a time when it is going to be above 40 degrees and it’s not going to freeze over the first night. It is very important to make your first application BEFORE the buds break.

If  you have questions or need additional information, please feel free to contact an Illinois Certified Nursery Professional (ICN-Pro) at your local garden center. The Illinois Nurserymen’s Association has certified over 275 ICN-Pros covering the state of Illinois.

["Gardening tips" is provided monthly
by the Illinois Nurserymen’s Association,
1717 S. Fifth St. in Springfield.]

 

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Animals for adoption

These animals and more are available to good homes from the Logan County Animal Control at 1515 N. Kickapoo, phone 735-3232.

Fees for animal adoption: dogs, $60/male, $65/female; cats, $35/male, $44/female. The fees include neutering and spaying.

Logan County Animal Control's hours of operation:

Sunday    closed

Monday  –  8 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Tuesday  –  8 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Wednesday    8 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Thursday  –  8 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Friday  –  8 a.m. - 3 p.m.

Saturday  –  closed

Warden: Sheila Farmer
Assistant:  Michelle Mote
In-house veterinarian:  Dr. Lester Thompson

DOGS
Big to little, most these dogs will make wonderful lifelong companions when you take them home and provide solid, steady training, grooming and general care. Get educated about what you choose. If you give them the time and care they need, you will be rewarded with much more than you gave them. They are entertaining, fun, comforting, and will lift you up for days on end.

Be prepared to take the necessary time when you bring home a puppy, kitten, dog, cat or any other pet, and you will be blessed.

[Logan County Animal Control is thankful for pet supplies donated by individuals and Wal-Mart.]  


[Dakota is a young male.  He is probably a full-blooded chow.]


[This adorable husky mix is about 8 weeks old, and he needs a good home.]

 

    
[This Pomeranian is about 3 years old and may be housebroken.]

 


[He is a handsome 5-month-old retriever mix.]

[Is this Shar-Pei yours?  Animal Control believes she is lost and hopes her family will come and take her home.]
        
[This female husky is very shy — although she has relaxed a little during her stay at Animal Control.  Recently, this 3- or 4-year-old mother gave birth to three puppies.  There are males and females, and they look like husky-Australian shepherd mixes.  The mother and puppies are all available for adoption.]

 

Ten reasons to adopt a shelter dog

 1.  I'll bring out your playful side!

 2.  I'll lend an ear to your troubles.

 3.   I'll keep you fit and trim.

 4.   We'll look out for each other.

 5.   We'll sniff out fun together!

 6.   I'll keep you right on schedule.

 7.   I'll love you with all my heart.

 8.   We'll have a tail-waggin' good time!

 9.   We'll snuggle on a quiet evening.

10.   We'll be best friends always.


CATS

[Logan County Animal Control is thankful for pet supplies donated by individuals and Wal-Mart.]  

In the cat section there are a number of wonderful cats to choose from. There are a variety of colors and sizes.

[Cocoa is a really sweet female.  Her age is uncertain.]

ABE LINCOLN

PHARMACY

Just inside the ALMH front door

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Our staff offers more than 25 years of experience in the automotive industry.

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Part 1

Jacksonville: The home of big wheels

[FEB. 20, 2001]  Jacksonville is a city rich in cultural heritage, educational facilities and grand old homes. But it may be the Ferris wheel that has made this central Illinois city famous.

The Eli Bridge Company, the world’s oldest manufacturer of Ferris wheels and other amusement rides, was founded by W.E. Sullivan, who introduced the first portable "Big Eli" wheel on the Jacksonville town square in 1900. Now operated by the family’s third generation, the company is still churning out the rotund rides.

It’s evident the city — approximately an hour's drive from Lincoln — is proud of its Ferris wheels. Big Eli Wheel No. 17 can’t be missed in the community park on the corner of Morton and Main streets and is one of the first things you notice when entering Jacksonville. The city logo also sports the profile of a Ferris wheel in the city skyline.

History

Jacksonville, which many agree was named for General Andrew Jackson, was chosen as the county seat in 1825 but not incorporated until 1867. The city still retains many signs of its historical significance, evident by streets lined with grand, century-old homes and restored buildings. At one time, Jacksonville was the largest town in the state, with 1,800 settlers in 1833.

Many state and national leaders have ties to the city. Stephen A. Douglas, Abraham Lincoln’s rival, was Morgan County prosecuting attorney in 1835. Three Illinois governors lived in Jacksonville, and during the Civil War, Ulysses S. Grant camped his Illinois Division on what is now the Morgan County fairgrounds.

 

Educational institutions

The city has a rich connection with education and has been called the "Athens of the West" because of its wealth of higher-education institutions. The city is now home to Illinois College, MacMurray College, the Illinois School for the Deaf, Illinois School for the Visually Impaired and Jacksonville Mental Health and Developmental Center.

Illinois College

Illinois College, founded in 1829, is located on a 65-acre campus on the city’s west side. It was founded by John Ellis and a group of Congregational-Presbyterian missionaries called "the Yale Band." Six of the buildings on campus are more than 100 years old, including the famous Beecher Hall, the state’s oldest college building. Illinois College awarded the first college degrees in the state and opened the first medical school in the state, in 1843. Richard Yates, later a Civil War-era governor, was one of the first two graduates.

MacMurray College

MacMurray College, a national liberal arts college nearly 150 years old, is located on a 60-acre campus. It was called Illinois Conference Female Academy when founded in 1846.

State institutions

Because of humanitarian and political influences in the city, three state institutions for the handicapped are located here. The Illinois School for the Deaf was charted in 1839. The Illinois School for the Visually Impaired began as a private school in 1847 and became a public facility in 1848. The Jacksonville Mental Health and Developmental Center was authorized by a charter in 1847, only two months after Dorothea Dix, the legendary champion of prison and state-hospital reform, appealed to the state legislature.

 

 

[to top of second column in this article]

Entertainment and sites

One of the best ways to get a feel for what the city is all about is to take one of several available walking tours. You can choose between a tour featuring historic buildings located near the downtown area, which include the courthouse and public library; a tour of the historic district, beginning in Duncan Park, and homes on West State and West College streets, and architecturally and historically significant buildings further east on West State Street; and a tour of buildings on the east side of town.

 

My recommended stops to visit include the David Strawn Art Gallery, the Governor Duncan Home, Our Saviour Church Rectory, the Octagon House, Fayerweather House and William S. Hook house.

The gallery features rotating art exhibits on the main floor with permanent collections including the Miriam Cowgur Allen Collection of antique and collectible dolls and Early Mississippian Indian pottery.

The Governor Duncan Home is a 17-room mansion built in 1835 and located in Duncan Park. The Georgian-Federal style structure was home to Gov. Joseph Duncan and served as the official governor’s mansion at that time, when the Capitol was in Vandalia and there was no governor’s mansion. It is the only governor’s mansion in existence outside of Springfield.

Our Saviour Church Rectory, located at 462 E. State, was completed in 1896 and features many special characteristics of Victorian design, such as stone spindlework, louvered crossed gables and stone banisters.

The Octagon House, located at 22 Park St., was built by Rufus C. Crampton, an IC professor, and is an amusing example of one of the first styles of American architecture.

The Fayerweather House, at 252 Park St., is a classic example of Gothic Revival style, while the William S. Hook House, located at 1042 W. State St., is a large, rambling Queen Anne-style home constructed of brick covered by shingles.  The original owner of the home and his brother played a prominent role in the developing the streetcar railway system in Jacksonville and Los Angeles.

Make sure to stop at the C.B. Lewis Museum, which gives visitors a look at how farmers once lived. The restored grain elevator on West Lafayette Street offers a unique way to see life on the family farm in the early 1900s. A large collection of antique farm machinery and other items represent a colorful sample of the county’s agricultural heritage.

If you visit during the summer months, make sure to finish your day by attending a musical performance by the Jacksonville Theatre Guild. The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra and Chorale and Illinois College’s McGaw Fine Arts Series all present concerts throughout the year.

(To be continued)

[Penny Zimmerman-Wills]

ILLINI BANK
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1-888-455-4641 or 735-5400
Ask for Terry Lock or Sharon Awe

Mortgage Refinancing
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Low Auto Rates
Free Checking - Debit Card
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