Favorites from the office, September through December:
Caption on the first day of
winter
A little worse for the wear, but
still hanging around downtown, this snowman has been loitering on Kickapoo
Street northwest of the courthouse since last week. If he's there
much longer, he'll need a name!
Chuckles
From one of those files
making the rounds on the Internet:
"Handy
Engineering Conversions"
- Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its
diameter: Eskimo pi
- 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
- Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the
pavement: 1
bananosecond
- Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile
per hour:
knot-furlong
- 1,000 aches: 1 kilohurtz
- Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
- 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
Dressing up
Notes in a
text file indicated where to place pictures:
****** Picture of Postville in its
underware here
****** Picture of Postville in full dress
Feasting
"My mom
doesn't feel right unless she's feeding me 10,000 calories a day!"
— post-Thanksgiving report
from a co-worker
Hunting and pecking
An LDN
writer found out some news from a board president after another reporter
had already left the meeting. Two area newspapers besides LDN did get the
story for the next day, but the LDN editor said our writer "felt
honored to be the leader of the pack." It was an interesting choice
of words because the writer had recently prepared an article with
information about coyotes.
"Like
wolves," she wrote, "they have a social ‘pecking order.’ The
alpha male and alpha female, the dominant coyotes in the group, eat first.
The others wait…until their turn comes. When the alphas have finished,
the other coyotes are allowed to eat."
I guess she was the alpha
newshound that time.
Marriage license
Listings from the county
courthouse included a Johnston-Johnson couple.
Phrase to memorize
(It might come in handy
sometime if you want to sound knowledgeable about the subject.)
"European
corn borer overwintering population potentials"
Editor Jan Youngquist said that
topic stood out in a list sent by John Fulton.
Smart dog
Great Dane
If you want
something big and friendly, this is your dog! A stray, he hopped into a
small car with a guy who stopped for gas. They drove to the Animal
Control, and the dog would not get out.
— from an "Animals for
adoption" caption
The dead
A woman’s
first husband was named Harris; her second, Harry.
One morning
four versions of information for an obituary arrived by fax within an
hour: at 11:02, 11:10, 11:29 and 11:53. The 11:29 version had eight
changes, including adjustments to the visitation and burial times. The
11:53 transmission reversed one change. The person had apparently lost an
hour of life at one point, dying earlier than originally stated, but
regained the hour in the end.
An office worker reminded me
that such information is important if the person is suspected of a crime.
Time zones
According to
the time stated on mail transmissions, someone forwarded a file to another
computer three minutes before I sent the file to her.
Other pairs of machines allow
for even more speedy action. In September, a writer indicated that,
according to the times stated, I sent a message to confirm receiving two
files an hour and a half before her computer sent them to me.
Typos
On a snowy
morning LDN posted a list of schools dismissing students early — in most
cases at 1:30 p.m. Adding a church cancellation later on, I noticed that I
had a couple of 10:30 p.m. "early" dismissals on the school
list.
The subject
line of a message about a last-minute correction said "Speeling
error."
A news release mentioned a mural
by "framed artist Lloyd Ostendorf." Someone wondered how much
work he had done since he was framed.
Volunteer work
The managing editor said she was
going to help at the Habitat for Humanity house on a Monday afternoon. The
next day I asked what she had done at the house. She said, "Got
plastered!" A worker had to pour water from a jug over her hands to
get a thick covering of joint compound off them. "It took nearly the
whole gallon," she said. "I enjoyed myself."
Weather
"It is
so perfectly gloomy out there."
— comment in the office, Nov.
9
Winning and losing
"The
third game of the season is where it all started to come together for us.
We took a 7-24 deficit into the locker room at halftime…We made an
amazing comeback and went on to win 43-34. That was one of the most
exciting comebacks that I have ever been a part of! It just seemed like
every time we got the ball that we would score. It was absolutely
incredible!"
"I
loved playing in Lincoln! I know we weren’t that successful, but I
always had a lot of fun playing. I think that the losses taught me quite a
bit. We won our first game this year, and every win just seems so great to
me, while other guys act like they’ve done it a hundred times
before."
— from an
interview with John Allison, a football player with the Illinois College
Blueboys
A game report
added after the interview indicated that Allison’s team "pulled the
game out of the fire 40-39" by scoring a touchdown and a 2-point
conversion in the last minute of play.
With another kind of contest on
the line, a co-worker asked one morning if I knew when the Florida
election results would be available. That was back on Nov. 8.