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Drinking is generally categorized into three levels: light, moderate
and heavy. For a man, light drinking is considered about six
standard drinks per week; moderate drinking is about 12 to 14
standard drinks per week; and heavy is 22 to 24 standard drinks per
week. Binge drinking is considered five or more standard drinks per
occasion, at least once per month. Levels for women are about
two-thirds those of men.
With regard to a standard drink, this means either 12 ounces of
beer, four ounces of wine or one ounce of liquor. It is a myth that
beer or wine is less harmful than hard liquor, as what matters is
the amount of alcohol consumed, not the form it comes in. It also
doesn't matter whether one drinks alone or socially. It is the
number of standardized drinks that matters when determining the risk
of alcohol consumption on parenting. Light drinking is only a
statement of quantity, not effect on parenting. Even light
quantities of alcohol consumption can affect parenting. So as
drinking increases, so too does the risk of poor parenting and poor
outcomes for kids.
Truth is, a good many parents are drinking alcohol in quantities
that contribute to poor parenting. People who are regular light
drinkers may find that their one or two drinks a day, or several on
the weekend, interfere with their time with the kids. It isn't being
intoxicated that is necessarily the issue, but time drinking is time
away from the children. Drinking can occur at a time when children
may most require adult supervision, such as after school or during
weekend free time. Taken further, in addition to time away from the
kids, more drinking can limit a parent's emotional availability to
their children.
Hence, time away or emotional unavailability takes on the
appearance of neglect. Further, even among parents who are only
light drinkers, when their children are approaching drinking age,
they will look at the parent's level of drinking as their starting
point for what is acceptable. Imagine what teenaged children may
consider acceptable if their parents were then moderate or heavy
drinkers. So the more a parent drinks, the more their children may
drink and the more the parent loses their moral authority to guide
their children in their use of alcohol. Parents who drink and who
tell their children not to drink or how much to drink will be viewed
as hypocrites in their children's eyes. As children rebel or call
their parents on their own drinking, the situation is then ripe for
an escalation of parent-child conflict.
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 Parents are advised to review and rethink how much they drink,
particularly if they do drink on a regular basis. While drinking
parents are often the best at arguing why their drinking is harmless
or not an issue, the simple fact remains that abstaining from
alcohol provides the best moral position from which to guide their
children. Understandably, though, few drinking parents are going to
relinquish drinking altogether. Hence, if fathers are going to drink
regularly, they are advised to drink less than six standard drinks
per week and never more than three per occasion. Mothers should cut
those numbers by a third to arrive at their suggested limits.
Further, parents should have at least two drink-free days per week.
Best reason to limit alcohol consumption: the love of your
children.
[Gary Direnfeld]
Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW, is a Canadian social worker and expert
on matters of family life. He is in private practice with
Interaction Consultants, writes and provides workshops, and is the
developer of the I Promise Program, a teen safe-driving initiative.
Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider Direnfeld an expert on child
development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy,
custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for
the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work)
report. His opinion helps resolve child custody and access matters.
His services include counseling, mediation, assessments,
assessment critiques and workshops. Search his name on
Google.com to access his many
articles, or go directly to his website,
www.yoursocialworker.com,
for a summary of his professional qualifications, text of his many
articles and video clips of his many television appearances.
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