Laura on Life

A boy's career path

By Laura Snyder

[April 08, 2009]  With some kids, from the time they reach a certain age, you know exactly what profession they will choose when they grow up.

My oldest son was like that. He gravitated toward anything that normal, everyday people know absolutely nothing about. In fact, he learned what DNA is and could pronounce the longhand version before he started kindergarten.

He understood the laws of physics, even though he disobeyed them on a constant basis. To be fair, perhaps it was just another physics experiment when he crashed headlong into walls or fell off the top of our station wagon, landing on his face.

"Gravity. OK, I get it now."

Or the law that says: A body in motion stays in motion -- especially when wearing socks on a just-been-waxed floor -- unless acted upon by an outside force … such as a wall.

So, yeah, it was pretty obvious that this boy would be a scientist; although he works better within the realm of theories rather than laws, because you can change theories. Gravity is pretty much set in stone.

There are other kids, however, who keep you guessing. My 7-year-old is one of those. He's tough to predict because he shows interest in a wide variety of things, which may mean there are multiple career opportunities in his future.

Sometimes I think he might be a scientist also. He's more of a chemist, though, judging by some of his experiments.

He has tried mixing hand soap with contact lens solution. The result: a really ticked-off teenager whose eyes had to be flushed out. The 7-year-old probably learned some new words that day.

He tried mixing a whole can of shaving cream -- minus the can -- with blue toothpaste in a non-airtight Cheese Balls canister. We know it wasn't airtight because he figured he'd get better results if he shook it. He didn't. The results were wiping down the bathroom and a weekend's worth of yardwork to pay for the squandered hygiene products.

The bathroom was also the site of his next experiment. This time, he confined his experiments to the bathtub, though. This experiment seemed to be about how much shampoo he could dump into his bathwater before someone came in and stopped him. The answer: the whole bottle.

We didn't find out about this experiment until the next morning when my husband let the bathwater out of the upstairs tub and the downstairs toilet started erupting suds like a porcelain volcano. My husband would've never known had I not alerted him. I knew because I was sitting on said volcano at the time. I got up quickly, uncertain as to why, exactly, there were bubbles billowing out of my toilet. Maybe it was something I ate. I shut the lid in a feeble attempt to stem the flow … but to no avail.

It is possible this child could become a transportation engineer. I assume this is an interest because of the intricate mesh of roads he made for his Hot Wheels cars in my newly seeded wildflower garden.

Or maybe he'll be a painter, even though his medium appears to be acrylic paints, his electric toothbrush and computer monitors. Although I really don't see a market for that service unless your monitor happens to be broken and you don't want to look at a blank screen.

You know those demolition people who take down whole skyscrapers with the touch of a button? I'm thinking that career path might be right up my boy's alley.

[By LAURA SNYDER]

Laura Snyder is a syndicated columnist, author and speaker. You can reach her at [e-mail] or visit www.lauraonlife.com for more info.