 When I was a kid, there was no such thing as these technological
wonders, so going for a ride in the car with the four of us kids
must have been a nightmare for my parents.There wasn't even a
seat belt law back then, which gave four twitchy children free rein
over the back seat. If one of us needed a little alone time, it was
perfectly acceptable to crawl up onto the back dash, present our
backsides to the rest of the family, and make faces at the cars
behind us. Nothing like a little transportational therapy.
Now we know that anything on the back dash becomes a
high-velocity flying projectile and will exit through the front
windshield in the event of an accident. Hence, the seat belt law.
Seat belts, however, might keep little rear ends attached to the
seat, but they do nothing to prevent the kids from trying to crawl
out of their skins… ideally via the child sitting next to them. So
we've had to invent technologies that would keep their little minds
occupied so their parents won't drive off a cliff… intentionally or
not.
I have relied on these techno-toys for long enough that I
actually break into a cold sweat at the thought of taking my
children for a drive without them. Apparently, I'm just not made
from the same sturdy parental stock as my predecessors. I know that
without the props, I will eventually, but certainly, hear sounds of
pain from the back seat: slaps, grunts, growls and, "Ouch! He bit
me!" This will be followed by a firm but ineffectual parental
warning: "Knock it off!" or "Don't make me come back there!" You
really can't be more specific because you can't see what's happening
back there. The warning will then be followed by more of the same.
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 By the time you reach your destination, your nerves are shot,
your hair is standing straight up, and your eyebrows bear the
permanent crease of a mean substitute teacher.
Instead, you put a movie in the DVD player, and the only sound
you hear is an occasional giggle. If your trip is longer than the
length of a movie, you may have to do a rest stop and mediate the
selection of a new movie. This is one of those decisions children
can't seem to make without a great deal of whining, poking and
name-calling.
When they have a portable video game device, however, the
comments from the back seat can be most entertaining.
"How come the robots have invincibility and I don't?"
"I don't want to play this game anymore, because the birdies
won't help me and they promised they would!"
"Why do pirates just steal gold? Why don't they take what they
really need? Like food and stuff?"
"The pirates get the gold and then they go somewhere on land and
buy a house with it. Then they change their name to Steve or
something, so the pirate catchers never find them."
Say what you want about video games rotting kids' brains. I am a
firm believer in that theory too, but… there are times when a little
brain-rot may be just what they… and you… need.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info.
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