 I am in the unique position to be able to respond to this donkey
(the other word would offend everyone except the donkey I am
referring to). I am one of those "boring" people who had two babies
in my 20s, two more in my late 30s and fostered another in my 40s.
Why? Because children are anything but boring.In fact, I have
built an entire career writing about how not-boring they are.
There is so much love and laughter in my life because I have
children. Yes, they are a huge commitment. Yes, they take time and
money away from you. But they give so much more back.
The donkey thinks you can have a fulfilling life without
children, and on this, he is correct. Fulfilling is not the same
thing as bountiful, though. If you have a million dollars and invest
it, you get more dollars. If you have love and invest it in
children, you get more love. It's as simple as that. Why wouldn't
you do that?
Well, I can think of at least one reason: A person who has never
had a million dollars might not see the value in it. If given the
chance to own it, he will simply spend all the money instead of
investing it, just as a person who has never experienced real love
before.
Dear donkey, if that is the case for you, I wish for you a love
so grand, so powerful and so sublime that all you really want to do
is to share it. And when that love has exceeded the bounds of two
hearts, it may just manifest itself in the face of your own child.
You can talk about hormonal instincts, genes, natural progression
and propagating the species as the reason behind having children,
but as humans, we can ignore all that and do whatever pleases us.
Some of us find pleasure in holding a baby, teaching a child and
guiding a teenager to adulthood.
You see, dear donkey, your opinion that you should have fun in
your 20s before you go through the drudgery of having children does
not signify if, like me, you think children are fun.
[to top of second column] |
 As for being boring, I'll wager that I have seen and done more
after I started having children at age 22 than you have had, or will
have, before you are 30.
For starters, I have seen the sun rise on the Atlantic Ocean and
I've seen it set on the Pacific. I have been to the tops of the Alps
and into the depths of Carlsbad Caverns. I have seen the
magnificence of Niagara Falls, the Grand Canyon and the giant
sequoias in Yosemite. I have eaten spaghetti in Italy, pate in
France, sauerkraut in Germany and rouladen in Austria. I have seen
the past in the castles in Europe, the colonies of Jamestown and the
brick-covered roads of St. Augustine. I've seen the future at NASA,
Hollywood and New York City. I have snorkeled in the Dry Tortugas,
water-skied on Lake Erie, lunched on a volcano and ice-skated on a
pond at dawn. I've seen the oil rigs in Texas and the endless,
wheat-covered fields of the Midwest. I've experienced hurricanes and
blizzards, ice storms and dust storms. I've ridden on horses, buses,
trains, boats, planes, a Model T Ford and a hot-air balloon. I have
known the wonder, hope and love in a child's eyes and experienced
the fierce love and protectiveness that only a parent can feel. I
have seen and done things that would take your breath away … and so
have my children.
But, Mr. Donkey, of all the things I've seen and done so far, not
one of these adventures, not one, can even be compared to the
adventures of raising children. Because I have had so much "fun" and
also had children, I should know, shouldn't I?
Mark Twain once said that it is better to close one's mouth and
be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. One should
not write about things one knows nothing about.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
You can reach the writer at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
Or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more columns and info about her books. |
