 There are many things that I value above a clean house on my list;
first is having happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids. That's No. 1
because if I mess that up, everyone will know.No. 2 is a happy,
healthy marriage. There are many people who would put this first,
but I have made my determination based on risk and consequences, and
to be perfectly honest, the risks and consequences of my marriage
failing are far lower than the risks and consequences of my children
failing.
With that as my barometer, a clean house is way down on the list,
which is why my house always looks as if a bomb had gone off in it.
With a husband, five children and a career, the demands on my time
are greater than the 24 hours that I am allotted. My house suffers,
but in 50 years will anyone really remember what my house looked
like?
My children's bedrooms are the worst. When someone pulls into the
driveway, everyone in the house knows the drill: Pick up everything
in the living room, throw it into a bedroom and slam the doors shut.
A friend of mine gave me a ride home one day. I could tell that
my family could be relied upon to execute the drill even without my
presence, because as soon as the strange car pulled into the
driveway, I saw a flurry of activity through my living room window,
which was followed by what sounded like fireworks going off in the
house. When I walked in, the living room was spotless, and my son
looked at me and said, "Aw, false alarm!"
I try to make my kids clean their rooms once a week, but I
suspect that the vast majority of the mess gets shoved under the
bed. Once something goes under the bed, it's gone -- poof! If they
can't find something, it never occurs to them to look under the bed.
It apparently requires a different set of skills to look under the
bed. The skill of spelunking comes to mind.
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 Cleaning under the bed is a voyage of discovery. That PSP
cartridge that he hasn't seen since Christmas is pulled out, and
suddenly cleaning under the bed is exciting. What else is down
there?
He finds three or four Nerf gun bullets, the mini flashlight he
used to read under the blankets, the book he read under the
blankets, 49 cents in assorted change, a half bag of Easter-colored
Skittles, a puddle of blue ink where a pen was crushed under a box
of old golf balls, the remote for his remote-control car that
doesn't work anymore because he was forced to push it around, the
remains of a blueberry Pop-Tart, and a pair of underwear that looks
as if it was part of a science experiment.
It's exciting until he pulls out a sticky napkin wrapped around a
moldy apple core. Then it's, "Am I done yet?"
"Is there still stuff under the bed?"
"Well, yeah, but none of it is any good."
The cleaning part of this endeavor has somehow eluded him. The
only reason to be under the bed, after all, is to be reunited with
money and toys that he hasn't seen since he was in preschool, right?
Well, on my priority scale, the risks and consequences for not
cleaning under the bed are not high unless you consider that having
bugs in the house that have a taste for blueberry Pop-Tarts and old
apple cores might jeopardize the happy, healthy kids priority.
Cleaning under the bed as a priority has just risen significantly
higher.
"What else is down there? Never mind, let's just move the bed!"
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info. |
