 This is not because I'm a rude, disrespectful person; it's simply
because I'm not a multitasker. If I am thinking about what to make
for dinner that night, I have trouble counting change for the Coke
machine.If it's a larger purchase, like weekly grocery shopping,
I know I've got dinner in the cart somewhere. My task is to figure
out which combinations of meat, starch and vegetables will make the
most meals. Rather than trying to count money for that purchase, I'd
be more likely to slide my debit card and pray there's enough in my
checking account. But if I use the debit card, I would need to stop
the dinner combination calculations anyway and remember my PIN.
It's a tough world out there for a person with a limited ability
to multitask.
Even while driving, I can't talk on my cell phone or think about
my kids' event schedule without severely endangering myself and
other drivers. I simply drive. As long as I am not interrupted by a
balloon bursting in the back seat or a Nerf bullet hitting me in the
back of the head, I can navigate most driving situations with ease.
Although, I'll admit that four-way stop signs still confound me. In
that situation, rather than trying to determine who has the right of
way, I'll pretend to be interested in something on the bottom of my
shoe until the other three stoppers have moved on -- usually with a
shake of the head and squealing of tires. I try to avoid four-way
stops as a general rule.
The protocol for shopping carts is another enigma. I don't know
if there is a handbook for shopping cart rules, but it is clear to
me that there is not enough guidance in this area. I think it's
common sense that if one cart has a big plastic truck on the front
of it being driven by a 3-year-old, it clearly has the right of way.
However, I have questions about other shopping cart protocol:
1. When two carts are
being pushed toward each other in the same aisle, should each stay
to the right as if they were driving on a road?
2. If so, would they do
the same in England?
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3. Is it OK to pass a slowpoke in the hygiene section, or do you add
your input to the pokey person's option of body wash versus bar soap
so as to hurry them on their way?
4. If the aisle is jammed, is it OK to leave your cart between two
cardboard display racks and shimmy down the aisle to grab the Froot
Loops? Or should you wait your turn?
5. Is there an actual traffic flow pattern for the produce
department? Or is chaos the plan?
6. If there is a milk spill on your side of the dairy aisle and you
didn't do it, are you required to report it?
 Elevators are another
problem for me. When the door opens, I always assumed that you have
to let people off before you can enter. But what if a person in a
wheelchair is entering? Do you stand aside and let them enter first,
or wait for them to back up, thereby protecting the protocol?
Is there some kind of rule that you have to face the doors? Would
someone consider it rude if you entered the elevator and never
turned around? I mean, what if you needed to use the mirror in the
back of the elevator to freshen your makeup? Why do they have
mirrors in elevators anyway? To make it look as if there are more
people crammed in there than there really are?
Protocol, political correctness, unwritten rules… For a person
who writes about children's issues, bodily functions and snot on a
regular basis, they're not my strong suit.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info.
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