 After all, a law can be broken. It's not a good idea to break a law,
because one tends to spend a lot of time behind bars or earning the
money to pay a fine, but, regardless, a law can be broken. Not so
with the force at work that lets your car know when you have a
surplus of cash.
It's a force as predictable as the sunrise and sunset and as
constant as the tides. My car is an inanimate object. It shouldn't
"know" anything. But if it doesn't know anything, why does it blow a
head gasket when a refund check finally arrives? Why does your water
heater sacrifice itself to the powers that be only when you just
cashed an overtime check?
This phenomenon is not limited to automotive and appliance
failures either. Somehow the universe knows when you've just raked
and groomed your yard. Into your subdivision blows a gale of
tropical proportions that wasn't even mentioned on the Weather
Channel. This blows down every loose limb and each tenaciously
clinging leaf, thereby taking a day's worth of yardwork and flushing
it down the porcelain pot.
How can it be that there is no name for this force? Could it be
that, appropriately, there would have been a four-letter word in it?
If there had been such a name in the past, people couldn't have used
it in polite company. It would likely be turned into a verb
eventually, and people would use it as if something "happened" to
them. The *&%#@ force would be turned into "I just got *&%#@ed!"
[to top of second column]
 |
 In the same way that this force makes it rain after you've washed
your car and makes the teacher sick on the one day your child
actually studied for the test, if you gave the force a name, it
would immediately disappear. Life as we know it would be forever
changed... but in a good way.
No longer would we be held captive by a force that makes you wear
white just when a plateful of spaghetti is in your near future. No
longer would your children be attracted to a just-mopped kitchen
floor. The monster of irony would no longer show up on a pregnancy
test the day after you and your husband decided to stop trying... If
only the force had a name.
All we need is a name, people! And the name can't be a
four-letter word. Regardless of how much it deserves a four-letter
word moniker, we must have a name that can be used anywhere, at any
time. As soon as we have this name, we won't ever need to deal with
this newly named force ever again! We will turn this ornery force
against itself!
However, once we have a name, we'll have to remember it, because
if we forget it, the force will come back. It has probably happened
many times.
So here's the plan:
We need to think of a name that we won't ever need to use; use
it, even though it won't exist; and remember it, because if we
forget it, that's when we're going to need it. Got it? OK, let's get
to work...
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info. |
