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"I am drained," Stallone, who also wants to be a social worker, wrote in one e-mail to Reyes last winter. "But I will be damned if I will allow my health or anything else to interfere with my passion and education." Neither wants to be depicted as the brave, stoic student who perseveres against all odds and never complains. Reality is, they feel like quitting some days, but don't. They also have help, often from family. Stallone's mother, whom she jokingly calls her "roommate," drives her everywhere. Reyes lives in an apartment in her parents' basement and also often relies on them for meals and transportation to doctor appointments and school. For Winding, the 35-year-old former Marine who dreams of going to law school, it is his wife, Shannon, who works at the School for New Learning and keeps an eye on him as he tools through the hallways using a rolling walker to keep steady. Because of his bipolar disorder and MS, he often has trouble concentrating and holding thoughts. He records his classes to help him remember. And Shannon looks over his work and helps him with his writing. Is he worried about how he'd handle law school, if he gets in? "Hopefully, with the Lord's help, I will be able to do it," he says. His wife isn't so sure. "I'm worried," she whispers. Accepting the help from family, from anyone, can be difficult. At age 35, Patrick Holaday craves independence and demands it wherever possible. But he also has learned to accept assistance, from a paid assistant who runs errands and makes meals when he can't
-- and from his mother, who lives in an apartment across the street from his. "I'm a person with a disability. I'm not less of a person because of that. I can DO less because of it, but coming to that acknowledgment was painful," Holaday says. In many ways, he has become a student of his illness, keeping up with the latest work by researchers who are trying to better understand it. Some people with his condition have gotten help from experimental drugs or drugs that help them sleep. But for him and many others, the illness continues to come and go without warning. He usually remains at home, sometimes in bed with the shades pulled and a pillow over his head because of extreme sensitivity to light and sound. The energy he must exert, even for a simple visit to the doctor, can set him back a month. On his worst days, his mother sometimes sits and reads to him. Sadly, Holaday says, some people have given up on him. "But my mom never gives up on me." As proud as he is of his mother's program, he knows all too well there are no guarantees that he will get a degree, let alone a job. "There can be a sense of limbo," Holaday says, sitting on a reclining leather chair in his apartment, surrounded by a computer and trays full of books. "But for me, it has to be about the love of learning, not the credential." ___ Reyes understands about that love of learning, and the struggle. The importance of education were instilled in her from a young age by her parents
-- a plumber and a Chicago city worker -- and by her grandmother, an immigrant from northern Mexico who never got a college degree despite her lifelong passion for reading and learning. Reyes' quest for a degree was never easy. At first, she struggled to find her place in college. She started at DePaul in 2001, but unsure of what she wanted to do with her life, transferred to a community college. Then in the fall of 2003, she started feeling a numbness on her left side. Her foot would go to sleep; she started stumbling. People thought she was drunk. Doctors told her she had MS, a disease in which the body's immune system eats away at nerves' protective covering. "I really didn't know the magnitude of what was happening to me," says Reyes, a slight young woman with earnest brown eyes. "I just wanted them to fix it and make me better." She continued for two years in what she would call a "state of denial," not ready to accept the limitations of her illness or the fact that it would seriously interfere with her studies. She transferred from the community college back to DePaul
-- more mature, she says, and more certain that was where she wanted to be. But around Christmas 2005, her illness hit hard. She couldn't get out of bed, couldn't see well, couldn't function. She had congestive heart failure, a possible side-effect of one of her medications, and was in and out of the hospital. She had to have help even getting to the bathroom. "It really hit me then," says Reyes. She had to drop out of school for nearly a year. She had chemotherapy treatments, tried other new medications and spent months in physical therapy, learning to walk again. Her dream of a psychology degree, and a career as a social worker, had never seemed more distant. Then her sister read about the Chronic Illness Initiative on DePaul's Web site. Reyes started online classes in late 2006. As her health improved, she worked her way up to a few classes on campus, despite continued trouble with balance and vision. Like a lot of students in the program, she coped partly by getting her assignments early and working ahead. But if she did fall behind, her professors gave her more time. Now, she's on a new medication that is helping her more than any other, and she's able to volunteer for two organizations that help people with disabilities. She handed in her final paper in August and began interviewing for jobs; she also is considering applying to graduate schools to study social work. She has to pace herself. Ultimately, she hopes to get a job helping students like herself
-- perhaps even starting a program like DePaul's at another university. In a strange way, she says, her illness has helped her -- by making her more appreciative of the chance to get an education, and by showing her what she can do. "I will never give up," she says. ___ On the Net: DePaul's School for New Learning: http://www.snl.depaul.edu/
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