 Even if the wind gusts to 50 mph, there is nothing around it to
smash into. So why does it look as if it picked a fight and lost?
I filled the new one with fresh birdseed and hung it on a wide eave
outside my bedroom window. Over the next few days I watched to see
if the birds would find it.
Because they hadn't had much to eat all winter, the birds were
able to hone in on my bird feeder with ease. I watched as they took
turns, one after the other, sampling the buffet I set out for them.
I know the names of some birds, but the rest all look the same to
me -- kind of brownish. One bird, a brown one, was not sharing. If
he was on the perch and another bird came close, he'd chase it away.
He was being rather piggish about the whole thing.
Suddenly, the birds stopped coming to the feeder, even the
piggy-bird. I soon determined why.
A squirrel came down off my roof, climbed upside down on the
wire, like Tom Cruise in "Mission Impossible," and flipped off the
lid of my bird feeder. He proceeded to help himself to the feast.
Now, I am not a discriminatory animal feeder. Ask anyone.
Well, don't bother, I've never told anyone. The squirrel was as
hungry as the birds, I knew. However, the squirrel didn't take turns
like the birds did. He squatted on the feeder and dared the birds to
move him. The birds didn't have the guts.
Finally, I decided he'd had enough and I went to my window to
shoo him away. He scurried back up the wire to the roof, where I
heard a scuffle. Suddenly, I saw a ball of gray fur tumble off my
roof, one little paw grabbing at a perch on the feeder. It broke off
and the ball of fur cartwheeled two stories to the ground. "The
Matrix" came to mind as I watched him fall in slow motion.
[to top of second column]
 |
 He got up, did the squirrel equivalent of dusting himself off,
and wandered to the nearest tree like a drunken... uh, squirrel.
When I looked up, another squirrel had taken his "Mission
Impossible" stance at the feeder. He was digging at the holes and
trying to reach the bird seed.
That is, until my cat peeked over the edge of the roof and
started swatting at him. The squirrel had nowhere to go but two
stories straight down, so he hung on to the bottom of the feeder for
dear life, while it was being batted around by my cat.
Feeling sorry for the squirrel, I went outside and yelled at the
cat. "Get off the roof, you deranged feline. How on earth did you
get up there anyway?"
Finally, I had to use my secret weapon: shaking the cat food box.
That's the song of the Lorelei for cats.
He came running and gave me a look of disgust when I put the box
away without putting some in his bowl.
What? I don't want a fat cat. They eat too much.
The relieved squirrel scampered back up the feeder to the roof,
knocking a perch askew and dislocating the lid.
I looked at my brand-new, dilapidated bird feeder and finally
understood why the last one looked like it did. I'm getting a
stainless steel one next time, with titanium perches and a padlock
on the lid. Anybody know where I can get one of those?
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info. |
