 My husband, thank goodness, is the former, and if I wasn't married
to him, I would be the latter.I still have to pay for his help
with my patience. He is exasperated every time I ask for help. I'm
pretty sure this is because I can't always explain what is wrong in
his language.
"Honey, my printer is constipated. There are three things in the
buffer and nothing is coming through."
I can hear him grumbling as he sits down at my desk.
"What did you say?" I ask.
"I said your printer is a pain in my buffer!"
Oh.
It's not as if I did anything different to make it not work. I
didn't spill anything on it or drop it down a flight of stairs. It
just stopped working.
He always asks, "Did you turn it off and then back on?"
After 20 years of hearing this question, I have learned to do
just that before I even mention the problem to him. I'm not stupid.
My computer is.
"Yes, of course, I did," I'll say.
I still don't understand why this is necessary, though. There is
nothing else in my house that simply decides to randomly stop
running. I never have to unplug my refrigerator and then plug it
back in to keep it running. Imagine if every electrical device in my
house had to be turned off and on two or three times a week. That
would be a full-time job!
[to top of second column] |
 He asks me, "There are three things to be printed, right? Do you
remember what they are?"
"Yes. They are all the same thing."
"Oh," he scoffed, "you're one of THOSE people."
OK, now he was getting on my last nerve. "What? You'd prefer that
I try something only once and if it didn't work, I come running to
you?"
I would be the first one to admit that the problem could be due
to the computer's hatred for me. Its digital animosity toward me
would, of course, make it necessary for me to give it instructions
three times before it would comply.
I have children. I'm used to giving my instructions three times.
Apparently, the one thing I didn't do more than once was turn it
off and on. My husband gave me a doubtful look after he did just
that and the printer finally decided to do its job. I was nonplused.
"Hah!" he crowed. "I'm so amazing!" He walked away grinning.
"Amazing, my buffer," I grumbled. "You're just lucky my printer
likes you."
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated
columnist, author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info.
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