Wikipedia defines a curmudgeon as "an ill-tempered person full of
stubborn ideas or opinions."Since we are strictly addressing the
Christmas curmudgeon in this article, we need to differentiate these
folks from your everyday, run-o'-the-mill curmudgeon. We are not
speaking of the full-time ill-tempered person, but rather one who
becomes ill-tempered at the mere mention of anything to do with
Christmas. The Christmas curmudgeon may or may not be pleasant most
of the year, but becomes especially more ill-tempered the closer the
calendar is to Christmas.
A symptom of Christmas curmudgeonry is that a person begins to
get visibly and audibly upset when the Christmas decorations go on
display in July at Wal-Mart. They begin to complain when they hear
the post office reminder to send cards and packages early, and they
even get all worked up when there is any mention of spending money
for anything to do with Christmas. Christmas curmudgeons not only
complain about Christmas and decorations and gifts and parties and
Christmas cards and Christmas trees and Christmas carols and
Christmas gifts – yes, that's twice over on the gifts part – and
even Christmas cookies (although they will usually eat the Christmas
cookies). And anything Christmasy, they also vociferously want to
opt out of all those usual celebratory items.
And we drag them along, kicking and screaming, to buy presents,
attend parties and even go to Wal-Mart, claiming that if they would
let themselves, they might even have a good time. But, they are
stubborn and never seem to let themselves have a good time, do they!
All we see is the scowl and all we hear is the occasional
Christmas curmudgeon curse, "bah, humbug," as so aptly put by that
classic Christmas curmudgeon, Ebenezer Scrooge, who might have been
the hero of all Christmas curmudgeons, but in the end, as we all
know, he betrayed the movement!
Christmas curmudgeons are sometimes so ill-tempered that they
pose a threat to everyone else's ability to enjoy the Christmas
season.
Is there any hope, any help for the Christmas curmudgeons among
us? Scientific studies have shown that the longer a person has been
a Christmas curmudgeon, the less likely it would be that he will
ever be normal and come to enjoy Christmas. Catching this syndrome
later in life ensures a greater chance of reversing some or all of
the symptoms.
Perhaps the first thing to consider in bringing about a cure is
to better understand the Christmas curmudgeon from his point of
view.
Google searching the term Christmas curmudgeon brings up
thousands of entries of men claiming to be Christmas curmudgeons,
but only one that said what causes him to be a Christmas curmudgeon.
It is an article on a website aptly named All Women Stalk, and the
title is "8 Reasons Why I Don't Like Christmas," at
http://allwomenstalk.com/8-reasons-why-i-dont-like-christmas.
The author states these eight reasons for being a Christmas
curmudgeon and gives great insight into the syndrome:
1. There is no getting away from it, Christmas is just in your
face!
2. Christmas is so commercial.
3. Christmas doesn't have anything to do with Christ anymore!
5. Christmas is expensive!
6. Visiting the family is not just supposed to be a Christmas
experience.
7. Everything about Christmas is overkill!
8. The Christmas decorations have taken over!
The numbering is not amiss: His #4 answer is the key to it all
and the starting place to unravel the secret of the Christmas
curmudgeon:
4. Pressure! The pressure to go to all those relatives' houses,
and buy them all gifts, and send all the friends Christmas cards,
and so on and so forth.
[to top of second column]
