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"Ethan has great aim. He's awesome at 3-pointers. That's hot," Cosmo coos.
You can imagine his teammates' reaction. Even coach Greg McDermott couldn't resist.
"There are a lot of things in life that maybe aren't accurate," he said, "but that has to be close to the top."
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WE SHOULD ALL BE THIS LUCKY
Our first celebrity alum has it all -- literary awards galore, another sure-to-be-best-seller already on the shelves ("Suspect"), an Emmy nomination (for "Hill Street Blues") -- heck, Robert Crais even owns a legit rooting interest in one of the best college football teams in the land, having studied at LSU before bolting for Holywood to become a writer.
And now he's got a daughter at Duke, and plenty of cover for his other blue-blooded rooting interest.
"I live and die with the Duke Blue Devils,' Crais told AP national writer Hillel Italie.
Crais tracks their progress from L.A. these days, but he admitted that finding room in his heart for basketball wasn't easy at first.
"Life in Louisiana revolves around LSU football, the Saints, and the opening day of duck season," Crais said. "I still try to fly back for one or two games every year with my tail-gater buddies."
But that's still six months off. Italie wanted to know instead how the NCAAs are going to end three weeks from now.
"Kansas made it to the top spot on my bracket," Crais hedged, "but if Duke can focus, stay focused, and bring their 3-point game, they can take it."
Mystery solved.
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GLUM ALUM
Full disclosure: BracketRacket set out to get Will Ferrell (USC, Class of '90), but he big-timed us.
So what? Southern Cal went 14-18 this season and didn't even make it into the tournament. Who needed him, anyway?
Full disclosure Actually, Ferrell was tied up filming "Anchorman 2," so his agent put AP business writer Christina Rexrode on hold, then transferred her to Ben Hoffman's agent, who in turn got his client on the phone.
It must have been cloudy Wednesday in LA. Hoffman sounded despondent.
"I thought we were literally playing a guy named Robert Morris," he said.
(At this point, Rexrode was probably despondent, too; snubbed by Will Ferrell and then, on the rebound, forced to type "Ben Hoffman" into Google as fast as she could.)
Turns out Hoffman, 37, raised and schooled in the bluegrass state (Kentucky '98), is a comedian and host of "The Ben Show with Ben Hoffman" on Comedy Central. He was featured in this week's "Rolling Stone" magazine (here: http://rol.st/WW6npD) under the headline "The Most Anxious Man on TV."
Of course, a lot of Kentucky fans felt the same less than 24 hours after the Colonials of the Northeastern Conference threw a wrench into their juggernaut in the first round of the NIT. Hoffman, though, might be the only one who makes his living that way.
He told Rexrode his own writers were plotting a mutiny Thursday night, when the show regularly airs but the tournament begins in earnest. Maybe because they've still got teams to root for; all Hoffman has left is his Kentucky hat.
"It makes me look like the saddest guy in L.A.," he said. "People think I bought the wrong hat -- like I meant to buy a Kansas hat or something."
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STAT OF THE DAY
If you stayed up for play-in games both nights, you heard a lot about teams wandering in the wilderness. That's because this year, four teams that have gone at least 18 seasons between appearances in the tournament finally made it -- Middle Tennessee (24), La Salle (21), James Madison (19), North Carolina A&T (18). That got the folks at STATS wondering whether it was a debutante-like record.
Nope. It's actually happened at least four times since 1980, including 2012, when Harvard led a quartet of the long-suffering into the NCAAs after missing out for a dizzying 66 years.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
"She's still got a credit card with my name on it," -- Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim, whose team plays Montana in the opening-round game, on whether he's worried that his daughter, a former teacher at the university who still lives in Missoula, might have divided loyalties.
[Associated
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