Slim Randles' Home Country

The Big Bang Theory, Mule Barn style

[April 09, 2015]  Instead of the philosophy counter, we were at the righteous round table yesterday, because Herb got there first and he picked. It’s a good venue at the Mule Barn truck stop when you’re expecting more than three or four members of the world dilemma think tank.

But we weren’t expecting Windy.

Here he came, Alphonse “Windy” Wilson, feed store philosopher extraordinaire, and parlayer of his own peculiar palaver.

“Hi guys,” Windy said, “what a treat to discover you all here in togetherness this fine morning.”

“We’re here every morning, Windy, drag up a chair,” said Doc.

“You fellas ever study much about this here Big Bang theory? Well, I reconnoitered it just a while ago and it is seriously obfusticated,” Windy said. He flipped his cup to the upright and fillable position just as Loretta arrived with the pot.

“Don’t make no sense to me a-tall,” he said. “Yessir, they says that about 13 billion years ago there wasn’t anything here. Nothing. Well, ‘cept this little atomic thingie ‘bout smaller than a grain of sand. Can you imagine? So they tells us now that this little grain of sand one day just decided to blow up.”

He doctored his coffee and continued. “Now, I’m not kidding on this. They then says that when this tiny thing blew up, it scattered pieces all over the universe and that those pieces got big and made Earth and Arcturelius and Geminizer and all the stars. Yessir. One little granulation of explosive sand! Now you tell me … when you blow something up, does it get bigger or smaller?”

No one ventured to answer that. Finally, Doc said, “Actually, Windy, recent thinking tends to disallow the Big Bang theory. Says it didn’t happen that way.”

Windy grinned. “I knew it all along,” he said. “Yessir!”

[Text from file received from Slim Randles]

Ol' Jimmy Dollar is Slim Randles' first children's book.  The book is for kids K-3rd grades and is even better when parents read it with children.  Ol' Jimmy Dollar makes for sweet dreams and if you have a dog even better.  Available now on Amazon.