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 "Now I have to have these conversations with my kids," said Judeh,
39, who lives in southern California. "That's what breaks my heart —
to tell my kids that a choice I made to stand up for my religion
could make me unsafe."
As an anti-Muslim backlash swells across the United States following
the Dec. 2 massacre by a young Muslim couple inspired by Islamic
State in San Bernardino, California, many young Muslim families say
they fear for their safety and are struggling with their American
and Muslim identities.
Judeh, for instance, said she has told her children that their
actions may face extra scrutiny because they are Muslim.
She teaches her 8-year-old son, for example, to never utter the
words "blow up" at school, regardless of the context, and to never
pretend he is playing with guns, even if his friends do. Her son has
asked if people hate him and his family, Judeh said, a question she
can find difficult to answer after receiving hateful comments and
threats because of her hijab.
 The problems have gathered pace since gunmen loyal to the Islamic
State killed 130 people in Paris on Nov. 13.
But even before the Paris violence, anti-Muslim sentiment was on the
rise, swept along by rhetoric from U.S. presidential candidates —
from Republican Ben Carson’s comment in September that Muslims were
unfit for the presidency to billionaire Donald Trump’s recent call
for a ban on Muslim immigration.
Former Florida governor Jeb Bush, a Republican whose presidential
campaign has struggled in recent months, has said the United States
should only allow in Syrian refugees who can prove that they are
Christian — a tiny fraction of the millions driven from the
war-shattered country.
Some Muslim families say they fear a rising tide of hate crimes
directed against their faith, such as when a pig’s head was found
outside the door of a Philadelphia mosque on Dec. 7, an incident
that made national headlines. Pork and pork byproducts are haram, or
forbidden, in Islam.
Some discrimination goes largely unnoticed, such as when a woman
threw hot coffee at a group of Muslims praying in a park in
California on Dec. 6. The Council on American-Islamic Relations,
which tracks such incidents, says the scale of vandalism, damage and
intimidation at American mosques this year is the worst in the six
years they have kept records.
Many of the country’s 2.8 million Muslims say they fear such
tensions could become uglier during a presidential race that is
already tapping a vein of anger and bigotry.
DEFENDING THEIR IDENTITIES
Young Muslims said they often feel the need to prove how American
they are to distance themselves from radicals.
For some, such as Sara Haddad, that means reminding people that they
watch football or listen to pop music.
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"I love the Dallas Cowboys," she said, referring to the popular
Texas football team. "We have Thanksgiving with my parents. It's
almost like you have to do this thing where you say, ‘I'm so
American’, but at the end of the day, what is American?" said
Haddad, 27, a cancer research scientist in North Carolina who has a
six-month-old daughter.
She said she has not yet decided how to explain militant Islamists
or anti-Muslim rhetoric to her daughter when she is older. She
likens the predicament to parents wondering when to tell their
children Santa Claus does not exist, hoping their innocence will
stretch for as long as possible.
"9/11 destroyed my childhood innocence," she said, referring to the
Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. "I don’t want to believe that in five years
it’ll be this bad or worse."
In Baltimore, Arif Khan said he does not want his son’s childhood
defined by conversations about shootings or other attacks.
He said he and his wife, who wears the hijab, take precautions when
leaving the house. They make sure no one is following them and
carefully choose public places to pray when not home. He said he and
his wife want their one-month-old son to be vigilant as he gets
older. But they also hope to teach him that his Muslim and American
values are complementary.
"We don’t want his world to be focused on how we combat negative
stereotypes against us," said Khan, 29. "We want him to be a person
indicative of what true Islamic and American values are."
Jinan Al-Marayati, a 15-year-old Muslim who attends a Catholic
school in Los Angeles, said she often feels pressured to defend her
religion when the Islamic State comes up in class discussions.
She encourages questions from teachers and classmates, she said, but
sometimes tries to downplay her Muslim and Palestinian background
when she is with her American friends.
"I feel like I have two identities," said Al-Marayati. "With my
Muslim friends, I feel like I'm not Muslim enough. Around my
non-Muslim friends, I don't talk about stuff that's going on because
it'd make them uncomfortable."
(Editing by Jason Szep and Ken Wills)
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