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 Slim Randles' Home Country
On Halloween, Herb goes plumb nuts
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[October 31, 2017]
To look at Herb Collins, you wouldn’t
think he was like that. A nicer, kinder guy you never met. But for
one evening each year … one little slice of time … he’s downright
diabolical. |
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Every small town has one, of course. There is
always that one person who takes Halloween to its extremes of horror
and fantasy. We have Herb.
Everyone knows about his penchant for decoration. Ever since he
retired, his yard and house has celebrated every holiday from
Christmas to Amelia Earhart’s wedding anniversary with great
festoonation and an increase in the electrical bill from all the
lights.
But on Halloween, Herb goes plumb nuts. It’s a good thing heart
trouble is rare for the age group who go trick or treating, because
Herb’s yard is a veritable booby trap of pouncing ghosts, swooping
bats that swing out of the trees, loud sound effects as witches pop
straight out of the lawn in front of children and cackle, and
porch-side demons that shriek and leap just as the kid reaches what
he considers the safety of Herb’s front porch.
It’s a running of the gauntlet that only the bravest of the brave
attempt. Herb says he hasn’t had a four-year-old make it to the
front door yet. But for the older kids, this is an annual challenge,
and one by one they leave the safety of the sidewalk to do a
broken-field run, often with screaming, until they hit the safety of
the doorbell. Once that doorbell rings, they know, it’s all over but
the candy.
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Ah, the candy! As if to make up
for all the screaming and terror, Herb gives out dollar candy bars.
Some kids have been known to carry them around for several days to
show off before eating them.
“It gives the little guys something to shoot for,” Herb says,
laughing. “And the big guys get a different dose of demons every
year so they aren’t sure what to expect.”
And Herb?
“I just have a lot of fun.”
[Text from file received from
Slim Randles]
Brought to you by
Slim’s new book “A Fly Fisherman’s Bucket List,” from
www.lpdpress.com.
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