|
 Dud and I had just about finished solving the
problems on page one and were about to start solving sports dilemmas
when Bert mumbled something. Now Bert, usually loquacious, was in
one of his rare, but deadly, silent coffee mornings. Normally he'd
fill the Mule Barn truck stop with his pronouncements on life, love,
literature and the price of cauliflower, but not today.
I took a sip and turned to Bert. "You say something, Bert?"
"Seeds and froth," he mumbled.
"Seeds and froth?"
"It's not like it was my fault, you know. What did I do? Hey,
sometimes seeds and froth just happen to people, and there's no need
to jump all over me about it."
Dud and I nodded as if we understood. We assumed more would be
coming. It was.
"I mean, is it a crime to own a mule? No. So I own a mule. So seeds
and froth come along and the mule owner gets it? Where's the justice
in that? Ol' Jack was hungry. Is that a crime now? And is it my
fault? I don't think so."
"How is ol' Jack, anyway?" We all knew and loved the stove-up old
retired mule that Bert took so much pride in.
"He's in the doghouse big time with Maizie," Bert said. "Why
shouldn't she shoulder some responsibility for the seeds and froth?
I mean, you could actually give her some of the blame for this mess,
you know. She's the one left the car window down." [to top of second
column] |
"Do I have to hurt you, Bert?"
"Huh? Oh, well, see, here's what happened. Maizie did the shopping
and drove in the yard, and you know how ol' Jack likes to be loose
and wander around the yard, right? So she took some groceries in the
house, but not all of them, and Jack found the passenger window open
and when she came back...."
He put his head in his hands.
"How was I supposed to know mules liked watermelon? You guys ever
feed watermelon to a mule? Me neither. Who knew? By the time Maizie
got back for her next load, ol' Jack had eaten about two thirds of
that watermelon on the seat. Man, there were seeds and froth all
over the seat, the floor, the door and the mule. And I swear ... I
swear to you ... he started grinning when he saw her coming back out
of the house."
"And I guess you had to clean it up."
He nodded. "Dang mule has the table manners of a two-year-old. When
you mix seeds and froth with mule slobber? Well ... don't do it."
[Text from file received from
Slim Randles]
Brought to you by Home Country (the book) at
lpdpress.com.
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