Saw this ad t’other day in my outdoors magazine,
Campin-n-Fishin.
Oh, hi there, Alphonse Wilson doin the talkin don’t you see. Call me
Windy.
Sneaked in here again when Slim weren’t lookin.
But I gotta tell ya not to believe ever dang thing you read. Yessir,
they had this little-bitty sleeping bag made out of space materials,
I guess so you can stay warm on Mars or somethin and it weighed just
about nothin and a half.
Just how stupid do they think we are, anyhow? I mean, you gotta
surround yourself with good stuff to sleep right or you’re just
flippity squidglin around all night. Like a inch bug or somethin …
well, somethin that’s cold and has an agrellation of sleeplessness.
You give me a good ol’ cowboy bedroll every day! Yessir. Now if you
ain’t up to slump on what a bedroll is, I’ll just clue you in. You
take a great big ol’ tarp and inside it you put your blankets and a
piller and such. How many a-them blankets do you use? Wellsir, how
cold is it going to plunge down to tonight? You see, it’s adjustable
and you can thicken it if it’s cold or skinny it down if it’s a warm
night.
Now what a good smart cowboy will do is build hisself a bedroll so
thick he can go dog mushin on the Idiot Road race up in Alaska.
Yessir! Then, he can take out half the blankets if it ain’t gonna be
cold enough to hang meat tonight. You see? [to top of second
column] |
‘Course now, a real cowboy
bedroll ain’t easy to haul around. You ain’t goin’ far with it on
your back. Nossir. But that’s why them early cowboys invented pack
mules and pickup trucks.
There’s a rule of thumb tacks here, and you’re getting it straight
from the horse’s mouth ... if you can carry it, It … Ain’t … A …
Bedroll.
And you can tell ‘em I said so.
[Text from file received from
Slim Randles]
Brought to you by
“A Cowboy’s Guide to Packing the Backyard Horse,” by Slim Randles.
Available at www.amazon.com.
|