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 The event will be hosted at the Crossway Church,
2316 N. Kickapoo Street
in Lincoln, by Fostering Grace founder Jeanna Gill at 4 p.m.
Jeanna and her husband Glenn have been fostering children for the
past 10 years, and have adopted children through the DCFS Foster
Care program. It was their experiences in the early days of their
participation that brought her to form the Fostering Grace project.
Gill explained that she and Glenn were more or less blind-sided one
night with an emergency placement. They had about 30 minutes lead
time to get ready and when the child was brought to their home, the
little girl had nothing but the clothes on her back. Glenn and
Jeanna had to scramble quickly to get together the basic necessities
for the child, a tough thing to accomplish.
Gill explained that the experience is what brought her to take
action, recognizing a gap in the system, and trying to figure out a
way to fill it.
She said that when children are placed with a foster parent, there
is the probability that there will be financial assistance to
provide for the needs of the child, but that assistance does not
come automatically. As a matter of fact, it usually takes a few
weeks.
In the meantime, the child has needs and sometimes, it is a stretch
for a family to accommodate those needs, so Fostering Grace began
initially as a provider of material items needed for child care.
Over the years, though, it has grown into something a little more
complex.
At the beginning, Gill said that her thoughts after the emergency
placement she had experienced was the typical “someone needs to do
something.” Then it became “I need to do something.” And she did.
The first thing she did was come up with what she now refers to as
the “Blessing Bag.”
She said she began collecting items and dividing them up into
emergency care packages for the children in transition. She said
that she still does the bags that are supplied to case workers at
the Illinois Department of Child and Family Services as well as the
Center for Youth and Family Solutions.
When a child is removed from a dangerous situation at home, the bags
are given to the foster family who accepts the child for temporary
or long term care. Gill said that she started setting up the bags,
designing each one for the specific age level of a child that might
be taken into care. She said for example, the needs of an infant are
far different from the needs of a teenager. Therefore a baby
blessing bag will have bottles, diapers, clothing and other
essential material items for the care of an infant. A Teen bag on
the other hand in addition to clothing may contain toothbrush and
toothpaste, hair brush and comb, daily care products, just whatever
might be needed immediately upon arrival at a foster home.
The creation of the blessing bags led to other things that Gill
found were needed by families, items that couldn’t be placed in a
diaper bag or a duffle.
She said that she and Glenn reached the point where that they
converted their garage at home to an emergency supply center,
containing anything from clothing to beds and toys.
Gill says that she utilizes social media a great deal. She has a
facebook page for Fostering Grace and also is part of a social media
Foster Parent group page. She posts the needs that she has for
children and accepts all kinds of donations for the garage.
When special circumstances arise, she posts on the social media
pages and gets almost immediate response. She cited as an example
one Christmas Eve when a child was placed with a foster family in an
emergency situation. The family was not at all prepared for
sheltering an additional child. Gill and others sent out a call for
help and Gill says in no time at all, she had a living room full of
Christmas gifts to take to the family for their new arrival. Gill
said that this was vitally important. When a child is removed from a
biological household it is a terrible experience for the child.
Regardless of what the home-life circumstances are the separation is
extremely traumatic. Giving that child a feeling of well-being in
love in the new home is huge. In a moment of terrible trauma, a few
Christmas gifts can go a long way to helping that child cope with
his or her circumstances.
Gill said that her involvement with the blessing bags, the time
spent on social media pages and her personal promotion of the needs
of foster families grew into something more. Before she knew it,
foster parents were asking her questions about the system and
prospective fosters were exploring the ins and outs of becoming
temporary caregivers.
The next logical step was to start hosting meetings like the one she
has planned for this coming Sunday. Gill said the meetings are a
safe environment to ask questions and a great place to dispel myths
about foster parenting. An example of myths,
she said that she has had people say they would take a child gladly,
but DCFS won’t put a child in a single-parent household. Gill says
that is a false assumption. DCFS will indeed place a child in a
single parent setting. She said that the agency does not
discriminate against marital status, gender or sexual orientation.
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Everyone who applies to be foster parents has to go through the
DCFS training-orientation and must pass a background check. A DCFS caseworker
will visit the home and ascertain that the home has amble space for a child and
that it is a safe environment for the child.
Gill says there are other myths that need to be dispelled, and facts that can be
shared about the foster parent system. The meeting she hosts will include a
caseworker to answer the hard, technical questions about the program and Gill
and others will provide personal experience stories and answer questions about
the true foster parenting experience.
Gill said that the training-orientation and information provided by DCFS and
CYFS is very good. What she does is not aimed at taking away from that training,
but rather augmenting it with personal experiences and showing prospective
fosters that there is a support system within the foster parent community that
can relate to issues they are experiencing them and help new fosters work
through those issues.
Because the children who are placed come with their emotional baggage there are
times when the task is too much for a foster. Gill says there is no shame in
saying that the child is not adjusting well and should be considered for
re-location. Gills says that is one of the things that is talked about at the
meetings.
Another myth is that if you take a child, you must keep him or her, regardless
of the personality clashes or other issues that may arise. That is not correct.
She said that she has seen this happen locally and when the child was removed
from one foster who was not working out and placed with another, the match was
solid and the child adapted well as did the foster family. Gill said that is the
ultimate final goal, to assure the health and well-being of the child both
physically and emotionally.
These are just a few of the things that are talked about in Gills Fostering
Grace meetings. Gill said no question is off limits, and prospective parents
should ask anything and everything that comes to mind during the meeting.
Of course, one can’t talk about foster parenting without addressing the elephant
in the room, the issues with DCFS that have made the news in the past couple of
years. Gill said that she is saddened by what she hears in the news, but she
reminds us all that news media sources often thrive on reporting what is bad
about a program and omits all the good that counter-balances it.
Her personal experiences with DCFS and CYFS have been remarkably good. She notes
that Logan County native Cince Bowns is with the DCFS office. Gill said that she
knows firsthand that Bowns has a deep love for all the children she sees come
into the system, and she longs to place them in safe secure homes where they can
thrive and overcome their traumatic experiences. She added that Bowns is just
one example. She sees many caring, loving caseworkers in DCFS and CYFS that want
only the best for the children they serve.
There are more than 21,000 children in the foster care system in Illinois. In
the central region of the state that includes Logan County there are over 6,000
children in the system. There is a huge need for foster families who will give
their hearts to children in distress. Gill said it’s hard sometimes, especially
because a child may remain in the home for only a short while, then go back to
his or her parents. Families become attached then have to let go and that it
tough. But, she said it is the right thing to do because the ultimate goal is to
reunite biological families, providing the parents can prove they have a safe
and loving environment for their children.
Gill said that making the adjustments, taking a child in, adapting to the new
family dynamic, and then letting a child go is “the toughest job you will ever
love.” For her it is worth it. It’s worth the joy, it’s worth the pain, it’s
worth the tears that are shed, because in the end, it is about saving a child
and there is nothing nobler than that.
The meeting on Sunday afternoon at Crossway Church is open to anyone who wishes
to learn more about fostering. The meetings are private, and no news media is
allowed to attend. Conversations are not related to the public and names of
attendees are not released to the public. The meetings are a safe environment
for exploring options and talking through issues.
Gill is hopeful that the meeting Sunday will be well attended with people who
are genuinely interested in giving love and care to a child in need. She hopes
to see many there, and many who will agree to give a child in need a good home
in the future.
[Nila Smith] |
