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 What can be said is that no matter what schools
your child attends, no matter who the teacher is, and no matter what
textbooks or methods are used, there is a common thread during their
school years. And-that-is-you!
You are your child's support structure, example, organizer,
encourager, model and problem solver.
While it would be nice to have the mythical 'operators manual' for
raising a child, there is no such thing, particularly because each
child is as unique as you and circumstances are dynamic. But what
you will find below are 20 points purposefully crafted, reasonable
and mostly attainable measures that prepare your child for the
educational experience. It was assembled from a wide variety of
sources that offer solid and sage advice with two things in mind:
your child and a best educational outcome.
Like going on a trip with a map and planned destination, pre-setting
and adopting your own family practices will give your child the best
advantage to flourish in their education and get to where they want
to go. You should approach these parenting practices with a degree
of discernment for individual differences.
Forming a firm foundation for your child's learning habits:
1. Your school age child needs 10 hours of un-interrupted sleep
every night. That means that you, the parent, must be the person in
charge and determine the correct hour for your child to go to bed
despite whining, complaining, subterfuge or any other games your
child might play to avoid being in bed. Encourage your child's
participation without stern discipline. Build in praises and
rewards. Without the proper sleep, your child will not be able to
have a clear mind, develop properly, or have the best attitudes and
behaviors at school.
2. In the same way, have a routine for waking your child pleasantly
in the morning to get them out of bed and get ready for school. Your
demeanor will determine much about your child's morning attitude,
how they feel through the day, and be a model for developing a
pleasant personality.
3. Your child does not come equipped with what it takes to make good
decisions. Children need to learn how to make good decisions. As
your child ages and matures, that child will learn to make good
decisions by watching how you make decisions. So, in the beginning
choose the clothing that your child will wear to school. At a later
age, be influential, encouraging and involved in your child's choice
of clothes and shoes. Compliment them when they go off to school
looking really good.
4. Don't be sparing in your compliments to your child. Pay
compliments for real values and achievements, not lesser or unworthy
behaviors. A child who is regularly reminded that they are valued,
is a child with a healthy sense of self. Genuine and abundant
compliments lead to good self-assessment with humility.
5. Monitor your school-aged child's hygiene and make sure to help
develop good habits and patterns. Encourage and reward good
practices with praise.
6. Your child needs a healthy breakfast at home with enough time to
eat it. Developing good eating patterns will ensure that your child
remains healthy and energetic. Be involved in the selection and
provision for your child's lunch.
7. The sendoff your child receives when leaving in the morning for
school should be positive, loving and remind your child that you are
hopeful they have a good day at school, and look forward to their
return. Be involved and monitor your child's transportation to and
from school to insure safety and what your child is exposed to.
7. At all times exhibit kindness, gentleness, gratitude, honesty and
grace in your family. By exampling these things, your child will
learn to be benevolent in the community, and likely behave the very
best while at school.
8. Monitor what your child is studying at school and be an involved
parent. Seek ways to volunteer at the school and be supportive of
teachers. Never disagree with a teacher in front of your child.
9. Greet your child at the street or at the front door on return
from school. They may need a short rest or a snack. Later, ask what
were the best thing and the worst thing in their day. Offer praise
for achievements, encouragement for attempts, and solace for hurt
feelings, difficulties and failures.
10. Set the tone for achievement by recognizing failure as a means
to learn. Encourage your child to try again and again and not grow
weary when there is the possibility of their success. The only
defeat comes when your child stops trying. Do not model easy
surrender or a poor attitude.
11. Have your child do homework as soon as practical after school.
Be engaged in monitoring and helping get homework completed without
doing their homework for them. The objective is that they continue
the learning process outside the classroom, not merely to get the
best grades. Getting homework done in a pattern early each day means
your child develops good habits rather than learning
procrastination. Review the finished homework with your child.
Homework not done is a parental failure.
12. Limit screen time and monitor what your child is seeing on iPads,
television, phones and computers. Watch with whom your child is
communicating. Everything you allow and do as a parent must be done
with the wholistic welfare of your child in mind. Research the
latest protective technology measures for devices regularly.
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13. A family meal around the table encouraging
conversation and the healthy interaction develops good social
skills. Discourage solo eating sessions and eating in front of the
television. Dinner time is when you often find out what your child
thinks and feels. Model your best person at the table.
14. Choose positive personal nick-names for your child related to
their best behaviors and attitudes to add a little playfulness to
your relationship. Greeting your daughter by calling her "Miss
Beautiful Sunshine" may sound corny, but it conveys your love and
leads your child inductively to positive feelings, attitudes and
values. Avoid calling your male child "My Big Man," or anything that
leads to wrong thinking. A male child will grow into a man when your
child becomes an adult, not before.
Change up the nicknames based on what is going on in your child's
life, their challenges, their fears, and their experiences. Calling
your male child "My Brave Boy" may instill needed courage to go
through tough challenges.
15. Always be available to listen to your child. The positive
attention you pay your child will let them know that they are
valued. Making an appointment with your child helps set the example
of how to get personal time and favorable attention when the
immediate moment is not available.
16. Introduce each of your children to your best chosen adult
friends as the most valued, treasured child in your life, without
being corny. Complimenting your child honestly in front of other
people helps develop good self esteem and confidence. Empty or false
compliments lead to developmental failure.
17. Your child will need discipline. This is a big one. Always make
corrections when you are calm and can speak with a non-judgmental
tone. If a child is out of control try using distraction. Be novel
in your approach. When your child is calm ask what they are feeling.
Encourage them to say rather than act out feelings. Speak openly
about real disappointments and hurts.
This learned behavior affirms the child and leads to the next step
in maturation, the opportunity to negotiate.
18. Include trips to interesting places, expose your child to
entertaining, fun and educational things in the community on a
regular basis. Take interesting vacations.
19. Be the peacemaker in your family. Work out disputes and
disagreements with other family members in private. Do it with
everyone's best interest at heart. You can give praise in private or
public, but always discipline in private.
20. Learn to love yourself, and choose to be happy, optimistic and
positive. By being your best self, you prepare your child to love
their self and also to become a happy person. These are important
ingredients not only in education, but also in life.
This list is not exhaustive, but at its core constitutes some of the
simplest attainable measures and embodies very definition of
parental love.
Nothing guarantees your child's educational success, but you can
make a resolution to be your child's best parent, guide and
benefactor. And the bonus point in this guide, is that along the way
you too will turn out to be the best you and experience a well
rounded, productive and fulfilling life.
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