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Slim Randles' Home Country

Shiny white teeth and a pony for all

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[November 10, 2022] 

Have you been counting the minutes until election day when your neighbors can remove all those campaign signs from their lawns for another two years? Yes, these are mid-term elections, just as serious as the presidential election yet to come two years from now, but not as interesting.

Why not? Because the great candidate Vermin Love Supreme only runs for President and doesn’t mess about trying to be someone’s governor. V.L., who appears to be a bearded cross between Archimedes and Alexander Graham Bell, tends to stand out in a crowd. That is largely because he’s usually wearing a boot on his head and is carrying a giant toothbrush.

Unlike most politicians, who basically ask us to vote for them because they have their names on several yard signs and can prove it, Ol’ Verm isn’t afraid to face his country head-on and tell us what we really need.

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Last time around, while trying to wedge his goals into the New Hampshire primaries, Vermin made no bones of his platform: 1. Passing a national law that everyone must brush their teeth, 2. Investigate the possibilities of a Zombie invasion, and 3. Give a pony to everyone in the country.

How can you beat a campaign slogan like that? Not only is it fun, but just picture 250 million people riding ponies around and showing off their shiny teeth.

Just two more years … we can do it. Two more years.

[Text from file received from Slim Randles]
What was the queen’s favorite pony’s name? https://pethelpful.com/pet-news/queen-elizabeth-pony-emma

 

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