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"My biggest issue currently isn't losses
though, my biggest issue is that I don't feel like I'm in my
body," Osaka wrote on Instagram on Tuesday.
"It's a strange feeling, missing balls I shouldn't miss, hitting
balls softer than I remember I used to. I try to tell myself,
'It's fine you're doing great. Just get through this one and
keep pushing', mentally it's really draining through.
"Internally, I hear myself screaming, 'What the hell is
happening?!?!'"
Osaka returned to action in January after a 15-month break
during which she gave birth to her daughter. Now ranked 90th in
the world, her best results have been runs to the quarter-finals
at Doha and 's-Hertogenbosch.
"I've played a handful of matches this year that I felt like I
was myself and I know this moment is probably just a small phase
from all the new transitions (clay, grass, clay, hard), however
the only feeling I could liken how I feel right now to is being
post-partum," Osaka said.
"That scares me because I've been playing tennis since I was
three, the racket should feel like an extension of my hand."
Osaka's next event will be at Flushing Meadows, where she
triumphed in 2018 and 2020, but she said she did not understand
why everything about her game felt "almost brand new" again.
"This should be as simple as breathing to me, but it's not," she
added.
"I genuinely did not give myself grace for that fact until just
now."
Despite her struggles, Osaka said she loved putting in the work
each day and "eventually having the opportunity to get to where
you want to be".
(Reporting by Shrivathsa Sridhar in Bengaluru; Editing by Peter
Rutherford) [© 2024 Thomson Reuters. All rights
reserved.]
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