Kids and current events: How to help them deal with what they see around
them
[September 12, 2025]
By DEEPTI HAJELA
NEW YORK (AP) — In hardly any time at all, the footage of the horrifying
moment when a bullet hit conservative activist Charlie Kirk in the neck
cascaded across the internet.
Whether seeing it inadvertently or seeking it out, onlookers far from
the crowd at a Utah college could be exposed to disturbingly close and
potentially bloody glimpses of his shooting and the resulting chaos.
It's the product of a digital-first world where the presence of
smartphones and social media makes current events readily accessible and
often, practically unavoidable.
And, of course, among those seeing it were kids, teens and other young
people — those who live with their phones practically attached and are
often far more chronically online than their parents.
It raises a question that modern-day parents are sadly having to ask
more frequently: How do you talk to your kids about what's going on,
what they're seeing and hearing?
Don't ignore it
It's a basic parental impulse to want to protect kids, to shield them
from harsh realities or complicated situations, to think they're too
young to know about the ways in which the world can be unsafe or
terrible.
Yet when it comes to the actual world around us, that's not realistic,
experts say. Information is EVERYWHERE.
“For parents to assume that their children are not being exposed to this
is just not a good way of approaching it,” says Jodi Quas, professor of
psychology at the University of California, Irvine. “Children talk at
school, children overhear teachers, they overhear adults, they overhear
their parents’ conversations.”
That's only exacerbated by phones, tablets and other technology that
connect children to the world, even if parents try to set screen limits
or parental controls.
“In this adult world, you could easily think that it’s very easy to
protect yourself from this, of course you don’t have to look at it, of
course, you can turn away,” says Kris Perry, executive director of
Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development.
“But what’s happening with children, especially in social media
contexts, is that the algorithms are so sophisticated and the feed is so
tailored to them that you should assume your child has been exposed to
this event through a source that you did not choose.”
Don't assume they know everything, either
In talking to young people, parents should try to get a sense of what
knowledge kids do have about the events at hand, instead of rushing in
with assumptions, says Riana Elyse Anderson, associate professor of
social work at Columbia University's School of Social Work.
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The casket containing the body of Charlie Kirk, the CEO and
co-founder of Turning Point USA who was shot and killed is removed
from Air Force Two at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport,
Thursday, Sept. 11, 2025, in Phoenix. (AP Photo/Ross D. Franklin)
 “It could be that young people are
seeing things that were actual images from the event, or it could be
things that have been doctored or changed because of different
editing or AI software,” Anderson says. “So it’s really important
for us to get a sense of what they think they know.”
Process your own feelings first
Of course, if parents are looking to reassure their kids about their
safety, or talk to them about what they've seen or national events,
parents should take the time to acknowledge their own feelings and
thoughts first.
“Parents have to stop and take a breath and be ready — put your own
oxygen mask on as they say — so that you can process your own
feelings before you start talking to your child, so that you're more
stable and able to listen carefully and be less reactive,” Perry
says.
Parents need to remember that they are their children's role models,
Quas says.
“If parents are highly agitated, parents are so distressed that they
can’t regulate their own emotions, it really doesn’t matter what
they say to children. Children are going to be afraid,” she says.
Make it an ongoing conversation
Kait Gillen's 10-year-old son doesn't even have a phone of his own
yet, but was next to his mom at home in Virginia when the alerts of
Kirk's shooting and subsequent death started alerting on her phone.
“He was visibly shaken by it and wanted to know who had done it,”
Gillen says, questions that still have no answers. They talked about
it for a bit, and she promised him they could talk about it more as
he needed to.
She knows it's not the last of the conversation about the incident,
as he talks to schoolmates and others, and it won't be the last time
this type of conversation could be needed as he grows up and gets a
phone of his own, joining the larger world.
“As much as I want to shield him ... he is going to be exposed to
it,” she says. “And so I can’t keep him from it. But what I can do
is try to give him the tools to understand and process what he is
feeling.”
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