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Saying
goodbye to your pet [APRIL
17, 2000] “Preparing for the Loss of Your Pet: Saying Goodbye
with Love, Dignity, and Peace of Mind.”
Myrna Milani, D.V.M., Prima Publishing, 1998, 377 pages.
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“Of all the different aspects of the human-animal
bond, none evokes such a wide range of responses as pet loss.”
These words represent the central theme of an important
book by Myrna Milani
entitled “Preparing for the Loss of Your Pet.”
Milani’s expertise is evident as she tastefully gives the
reader comfort and guidance through this emotionally difficult
time. She also provides information on coping with the death of a
pet and how a person or family can deal with this loss.
The tone is set in “The Final Journey,” the
book's opening chapter. This
chapter contains a straightforward discussion on the death of a
pet by natural causes or euthanasia.
Recognizing the physical signs of death and describing the
mechanics of euthanasia are delicately explained in detail.
Milani also includes an often-neglected but essential
component of the separation process – the final resting-place of
a pet. She continues
with topics such as losing a pet to circumstances other than death
(lost or stolen), the experience of pet loss due to old age or
chronic problems, and pet loss due to acute or sudden problems.
These chapters lead the reader to the heart of the book’s
message: how we as owners respond to the loss of a pet.
This is explained in a beautifully written chapter
entitled, “Guilt Plus Five.”
It describes the guilt that pet owners usually experience
after a loss, guilt that is fueled by the five emotional stages
that owners go through: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and
finally, acceptance.
The succeeding chapters expand on this theme by
discussing how owners respond to the loss of their pet.
“The Feminine Touch” and “The Masculine Reserve”
explore the different emotions in pet owners and helps them to tap
into their inner strengths. “The
Loss of Innocence” is arguably the most important section of the
book, since it addresses the subject of children and pet loss. Milani examines the special bond between children and their
pets and recommends honesty as the best policy to explain the loss
of the family pet. “Double
Jeopardy” discusses the relationship between a pet and an owner
with special needs. This
chapter examines the relationship formed between pets and people
who suffer from illness or feel physically or mentally vulnerable
without their pets.
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In the concluding chapter, Milani gives an overview
of the death of a pet and the coping process.
Referring to this difficult time as “loss-proofing your
relationship with your pet,” Milani advises that an advance
directive written for your pet may relieve some of the emotional
distress associated with the end-of-life decisions.
The advance directive can be composed by considering your
personal values in caring for your pet, applying those values to
life-threatening situations, writing the directive, and discussing
it with your veterinarian or other person who would act in your
absence.
Myrna
Milani is a doctor of veterinary medicine and a practicing
veterinarian. “Preparing for the Loss of Your Pet” is a
thoroughly researched work that can be easily understood by the
layperson. The
distinctive feature of her writing style is the sensitivity and care
with which she broaches each topic.
She understands that this is a difficult subject and that a
pet owner may consult her book during a time of anguish.
It is this compassion that results in a tastefully written
book that is a pleasure to read.
“Preparing
for the Loss of Your Pet” is recommended for any pet owner or
anyone who is considering becoming a pet owner.
For more information, visit the library at 725
Pekin St. or call 732-8878.
[Richard
Sumrall, Lincoln Public Library District]
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