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When
I tell them that there's no one single best invention, they usually
walk away disappointed. It reminds me of the guy who climbs to the
top of the mountain to ask the wise old man for the meaning of life.
But I can tell you who my top 10 inventors are and what I think
they would want for Christmas.
Foreign-born inventors, many of whom emigrated to America, are
denoted below with an asterisk.
Which of these inventors are still alive today? The answer is at
the end of the column.
For Ben Franklin -- a new pair of bifocals, which he invented, as
well as a new kite, since his old one was destroyed in a
thunderstorm. Also, a Franklin stove, a key to the city and a $100
bill.
For Thomas Jefferson -- a modern version of his major inventions:
a macaroni machine, which he invented in 1787; the swivel chair; the
spherical sundial; the moldboard plow; and the cipher wheel, which
was used by the military to send coded messages back and forth. Plus
a bowl of macaroni and a dish of ice cream, since Jefferson
introduced these two foods to America.
For Philo Farnsworth, who was only 15 years old when he figured
out how to invent the television -- a remote control and a DVD
player. Now go to your room, Philo. And no watching TV when you get
there, young man.
* For Alexander Graham Bell -- a cell phone powered by a cord
that plugs into a wall (think about it). Bell was born in Scotland.
For Henry Ford, father of the assembly line that produced the
Model T cars -- a brand-new car, in any color he wants. As long as
it's black.
* For Nikola Tesla -- a trophy case and a radio. Why a trophy
case? Why a radio? And who is Nikola Tesla? Tesla is the main
inventor of radio, although Marconi is the one who usually receives
the credit. OK, then why give him a trophy case? To hold the
prestigious Edison Medal, which he won in 1917. The irony is that
Tesla and Edison fought a nasty battle to see whose brand of
electrical current was superior. Tesla's AC won out over Edison's
DC. On a lesser note, Tesla is the only inventor to have a rock band
named after him. Tesla, by the way, was born in Croatia.
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For Thomas Edison -- a day off, since he's the only inventor in
the United States to receive a patent every year for 65 straight
years. Also, a high school diploma, since he never graduated from
high school, and a Tesla album to listen to on the phonograph that
he invented in 1877. Also, in an ironic twist, I would give him the
Nikola Tesla Award, which is given annually by the Institute of
Electrical Engineers.
* For Leonardo da Vinci -- a time-travel machine, so he could use
some of his best inventions. Da Vinci designed the following items
hundreds of years ahead of their time: the submarine, the bicycle,
modern scissors, a flying machine, a helicopter and a parachute.
Leonardo was born in Vinci, Italy. He and Ben Franklin are the only
left-handed inventors on this list.
For George Washington Carver -- a listing in the Guinness Book of
World Records, for inventing more than 300 uses for peanuts and
hundreds of additional uses for other plants.
* For Tim Berners-Lee, who invented the World Wide Web -- a
lifetime supply of anti-spam software and his own patent lawyer.
Berners-Lee was so unselfish that he chose to not patent the Web,
passing up a huge fortune in the process. Berners-Lee was born in
London.
Of the 10 inventors, which ones are still alive today?
Only Web inventor Tim Berners-Lee, who is 50 years old. TV
inventor Philo Farnsworth died in 1971, but his wife is alive and
doing well.
Merry Christmas from Invention Mysteries and your local
newspaper!
[Paul Niemann]
Paul Niemann may be reached at
niemann7@aol.com.
Copyright Paul Niemann 2005
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