 Dewey Decker, obviously nervous despite sitting in the
comfortable green chair, was sipping some coffee."OK, Dewey, I'm
ready. What seems to be the trouble?"
"I'm in love, Marvin. Really in love for the first time in my
life. I can't help it. I really can't!"
"Whoa there!" Marvin said to the valley king of fertilizer
products. "You haven't been backsliding on that thing we discussed
last time, have you?"
"You mean the showers? No, sir. Been taking them before I ask a
girl out. It's not that, Marvin. It's just this woman's so perfect,
and she doesn't know I'm alive."
"In this valley? That's pretty hard to do. Who is she?"
Dewey fidgeted and then whispered, "Emily Stickles."
"Emily ... Stickles? You mean the same Miz Stickles that tried to
get my counseling service stopped?"
Dewey nodded. "I can't help it, Marvin. Honest."
"Well," said the older man, "she is awfully easy on the eyes."
"And her cheekbones, Marvin. Did you see them? And the kind look
in her eyes? And the way she..."
"Got it! OK now. So why haven't you asked her out?"
"She'd never go out with me..."
[to top of second
column] |
"Faint heart ne'er won fair lady, Mr. Decker. You need to dress
your best, go right up to her and introduce yourself, tell her who
you are and what you do, and ask her out. Now, I'd do it in
daylight. Go for coffee. You know, so she doesn't think you're
stalking her."
"You really think so?"
"Absolutely. And, to emphasize the point, I'm going to tie you up
an attractant fly on a No. 2 streamer hook. You will look at this
every day, reminding yourself to preen and look your best, take
showers, and just cowboy up. I think maybe a Bivisible with jungle
cock eyes."
In mere minutes the fly was securely in Dewey's hands and he was
headed home.
"I'll do it," he said. "I'll do it!"
He looked. There was no one around. "Maybe next week..."
[Text from file received from Slim Randles]
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