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Dud was the first to figure out that it was. "Boys," he said,
sitting at the Mule Barn's philosophy counter and flipping his cup
upright with one poetic motion, "I'm signed up over at JHT. I'm
going to get me an education."
"That's great, Dud," said his mentor and straight man, Doc. "What
are you taking?"
"Just one class to start out, Doc," Dud said. "Thought I'd kinda
e-e-e-ease into it, you know. I'm taking functional literacy. We're
going to study words and their meanings."
"I thought you did that in high school. Maybe even in grammar
school?"
"Right, Doc. But this is college, you know. We're going to take
functional literacy to a higher plane!"
When Jerry Hat Trick Junior College recently opened its doors, it
attracted a great deal of attention. Not only was it the first
privately endowed junior college in the country, but it was named
for its benefactor, the famous retired hockey player. It had always
been Jerry's dream, he told the world, to bring about a greater
appreciation for the associate in arts degree. To do this, he paid
educators to meet in think tanks all over our county and come up
with classes that were "outside the box."
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column]
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Jerry did well in hockey, naturally, but endowing a two-year
institution of semi-higher learning became possible only after he
married the heiress to a pork-belly fortune. You might call that
"functional matrimony."
So JHT was born, having innovative classes like "Pruning for the
New Millennium," "Creative Sword Swallowing" and "First-Strike
Self-Defense."
It got some of the rest of us considering a return to the halls
of Virginia creeper for a tuneup. After all, as charter members of
the Mule Barn truck stop's world dilemma think tank, it's our duty
to stay on the cutting edge.
[Slim Randles]
Brought to you by "Raven's Prey," a thriller
of the far North. Available at
www.slimrandles.com.
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