 His job has always been a big mystery to me. I don't even know how
to pronounce half the topics he talks about, much less converse with
him about them in a semi-intelligent manner.It must be very
difficult for him to be surrounded by idiots. The only people who
can hold an intelligent conversation with him about his work are
those he works with.
I like to ask him, "So what are you doing at work lately?" just
to see what he'll say. Sometimes, I'm almost sure he's making it up.
Who could possibly use all those huge words on a daily basis without
getting a cramp in their tongue?
Like any good mom, I really, truly want to know what he does at
work. So, I have two choices. I can listen as intently as possible
for a recognizable word or two to pass through his lips and patch
them all together to come up with something that makes sense to me.
Or I can wait till my eyes glaze over, and then embarrass myself by
asking him to "run that by me again, in English, using very small
words."
Knowing of my complete lack of aptitude for anything scientific,
my son will sometimes censor himself without the necessity for me to
embarrass myself. What a good son!
"What magnificent project are you working on this week, son?"
"I'm researching the same thing I was researching last time we
talked, Mom."
"You mean you're not done yet?"
"No, not yet."
[to top of second column]
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"Well, son, if you don't hurry up and finish, your boss is going to
fire you." "Mom, it'll take years to research the effects of these
substances on lab mice ... and my boss is well aware of that fact."
"Lab mice? Why are mice getting all the attention? Why don't you
research something that will help humans?"
That's when he gives me an exasperated look and starts speaking
in a foreign language again.
"Well, we discombobulate the lab mice and take a corpustual
reading for any signs of antidisestablishmentarianism, then ... ."
"Oh, just hit me with a two-by-four, will you? It'll be faster!"
He relents. "So are you going strawberry picking this year, Mom?"
Ah, a subject I know! "Yes! As a matter of fact, the strawberries
will be coming in early this year and they'll be sweeter. That means
we don't have to add as much sugar. Too much sugar isn't good for
us, you know. I've got a new recipe for shortbread that I just ..."
... I watch as his eyes glaze over.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
You can reach the writer at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
Or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more columns and info about her books.
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