|
 Bert
came waltzing in to the Mule Barn truck stop the other day in high
spirits. We knew we were in for yet another lecture. Sure enough.
Even as he pulled up a chair at the philosophy counter and world
dilemma think tank, he started in.
“The world, gentlemen,” he said. “The world is cresting on a
multiplicity of inventiveness at the moment and I’m flat in the
middle of it!”
He talks like that sometimes.
We all pretended we hadn’t heard him and sipped our coffee.
We’re like that sometimes, too.
“Maizie got it for me for Christmas,” he said, looking at us as he
flipped his coffee cup to the upright and ready-for-filling
position.
Finally, Dud couldn’t stand it any more. “What was that, Bert?”
“It’s the Rat Zapper!” he said. “The cutting edge in domestic
varmint control. The computer age has finally come to the wonderful
world of pest whacking, people.”
“What do you think?” said Doc. “Think he’s going to tell us about it
anyway?”
A general nod of agreement. “OK, Bert, what the heck is a rat
zapper?” [to top of second
column]
 |
“That’s Rat Zapper, capital
letters, Doc, ‘cause it’s a brand name. You see, you just plug this
little box into the wall and put it behind something. When the rat
goes in and tries to eat the bait, he steps on this metal plate and
is electrocuted. You just take it out and dump it and reset it.
“The first thing you do, though,
is put some bait in it and let him go get it without the
electricity, then you plug that baby in, and ZAP! Oh man, it’s just
great!”
“High tech rat killin’?” Doc said.
“Oh, you bet. And not only that, but for a little extra, you can
have the trap ring your cell phone to let you know when you’ve
caught one. And you can get a whole network of these thingies and
they’ll each call you when they have a fried rat for you. Isn’t that
amazing?”
“Well, Bert,” I chimed in, “I didn’t realize you had a rat problem
over at your place.”
“I don’t,” he said, looking discouraged. “But you know, if I put
some corn out, maybe by spring….?”
[Text from file received from
Slim Randles] |
