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2016 Home For the Holidays
LINCOLN DAILY NEWS November 23, 2016 Page 23
modification and greater possibility of the dreams
becoming reality. Such discussion may also
enable more pro-active behavior to actually
produce desired outcomes, in contrast to passively
waiting and then being disappointed.
2. Family complexities cannot be undone by
simple strokes. But you may be able to work
around some of the problems. If you are the host,
you are not responsible for resolving ongoing
disputes between members of the clan, but you
can invite combatants to check their battles at
the door. If necessary, declare your home a
“No Drama
Zone.” In
those instances
where in-law
commitments
seem to intrude
on getting the
whole family
together, notice
how much you
are annoyed
by the other
families that
are inflexible
regarding
everyone being with their family at certain
times. Vow that YOU will not be that annoyingly
inflexible in-law.
3. Generational differences need not be
minimized. In fact, they may be capitalized. Our
longer life-spans and great mobility make possible
more diverse gatherings than in past generations.
Most of the celebration time need not be intense
togetherness. Let the little ones have their time
with their new “things,” encouraging cross-
generational conversation by “show-and-tell”
times. Adolescents and pre-adolescents may
become more incorporated if they are invited to
help develop some of the events, especially if their
tech skills can contribute to the fun. The more
sociable family members may use their skills
to help kinfolk talk about what has happened
since the last gathering. Adults of all ages may
appreciate being given the option to just relax,
without needing to be “on” all the time. One
special note here: A discreet use of alcoholic
beverages is part of the holiday tradition in some
families. This may enhance the celebration.
However, if there are family members for whom
alcohol abuse is a problem, much good cheer may
be undone by drunken behavior. Try to know
where the danger lies and make plans to intervene
with grace before a problem erupts.
4. If the gathering offers potential for a “Belief
Battle”, you may note that your beliefs don’t
require that everyone else in the room has to agree
with you. In fact, if your beliefs about the “true
meaning of Christmas” focus on the one who was
called “The Prince of Peace,” you may honor him
by the peaceful, loving spirit that reflects the one
you adore. You can celebrate the spirit of your
holiday by showing interest in the diverse values
of the person who is so different in perspective.
Showing interest in the viewpoint of another
person is a way of valuing that other person.
Everyone seems to want everyone else to have a
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or some other
event of good cheer. Careful attention to the life-
values and relational values that make the holiday
a meaningful time for you will put you in a good
frame of mind for enjoying getting the entire
family home for the holidays.