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Syndicated column from The Parent
[MARCH 31, 2006]
Q: My 8-year-old grandson likes to tell
everyone what to do but won't follow instructions from me or other
adults. He has problems staying focused on whatever he does. My
greatest concern is about his schoolwork. He usually gets his
homework done, but it's always on his terms. He doesn't take what I
say seriously. Do you have any advice on how to handle him?
You are right to be concerned about your grandson. It's important
for you to teach him to respect you and other adults now. Most
importantly, remember that you are the adult and you are in charge.
Here are some ideas that may help:
routines for your grandson. Have a set time for getting up,
bedtime and homework. If he doesn't have any homework, have him
do some quiet work during his "homework" time. He might want to
draw, or you can spend this time reading with him. If you get
him into a regular homework schedule now, it will be easier to
maintain as he gets into upper grades and has more homework.
firm with your grandson. Some children like to pressure and
nag their parents or grandparents until they get what they want.
Make sure your grandson knows how to take "no" for an answer. "I
understand that you want to watch that TV show, but our rule is
that homework comes first." Then be sure to follow through --
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Don't allow him
to tell others what to do. Quietly, but firmly, step in if
you see this kind of behavior from him. Quietly lead him to
another room and explain that his behavior is not acceptable.
Let him know that he can rejoin the group when he is ready to be
respectful and cooperative.
Talk with your
grandson's teacher. Ask what kind of behavior she has
observed in the classroom or on the playground. Ask about his
learning habits. Is he able to listen, pay attention and focus
on his work? Ask for tips she may have to help your grandson at
Your grandson will learn some of his most important lessons
through consistent routines and rules. When you teach him to know
what's expected of him and how to behave, you'll create structure
for him in your home and help him succeed at school.
For more information about helping
children learn or to submit your own question, go to
http://advisor.parent-institute.com. All questions will receive
a prompt answer by e-mail.
Copyright 2005, The Parent Institute
"Ask the Learning Advisor -- Ideas for Raising Successful
Children" is a free, syndicated column from the Parent Institute.