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Slim Randles' Home Country

Courtship planning: It takes a village

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[October 01, 2011]  It wasn't long at all before just about everyone in the valley knew about Dewey's dream girl, Emily Stickles, she of the county office in charge of keeping an eye on things.

It wasn't long at all because Dewey told everyone about it. Somewhere, deep inside him, was this urge to court this young lady successfully. So strong was this urge that Dewey set out to glean every scrap of advice from almost everyone he knew. It was as though he thought if he could just come up with an amalgam of methods, Emily would almost have to be his. And a guy doesn't rush something this important. Success, he knew, comes about when preparation meets opportunity. It was the preparation that concerned him, as he could always waylay her somewhere between her office and her home.

And all of us, his friends, fans and supporters, wanted to advise him properly. We'd seen him through disaster after disaster, and now he was the king of fertilizer here in the valley. For us, it was as if his success would be partially ours, as well.

"Dewey, are you sure, uh, Emily … it's Emily, right? OK. Are you sure Emily is available?"

"She is, Doc. She used to have a steady boyfriend, but that was back in the city she came from. She's not seeing anyone here at all."

"Dewey," said Steve, "are you stalking this poor girl?"

"No, of course not. It's just that I had to do my … homework a bit. I didn't want to rush into this thing blind."

"Hey, that goes without saying," Herb chimed in. "Right, guys?"

"Yeah. Sure."

[to top of second column]

"I'm going to buy some new clothes before I meet her," he said.

"Talk to Anita first," Dud said. "She has some fashion ideas for you. In fact, she's been talking with Sarah and some of the others, and they all have suggestions."

"Thanks! I'll do it."

"And Dewey," Doc added, in a conspiratorial tone, "you won't forget that showering thing now, right?"

"For Emily," said our stricken swain, sultan of soil amenities, "I'd shower twice!"

"Sounds like love to me," said Steve.

[Text from file received from Slim Randles]

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Brought to you by Slim's new book "A Cowboy's Guide to Growing Up Right." Learn more at http://www.nmsantos.com/Slim/Slim.html.

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