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Review by Louella Moreland
Jeanne Warren has written a
heart-touching story to aid single parents in the difficult task of
helping explain to small children why their family may be different
from families of other children they know.
"Do I have a daddy/mommy?" "Why doesn't
my daddy/mommy live with us?" These are questions that can cause
single parents a lot of pain. No matter how young or old the child,
no matter how much time has passed since a separation, a parent
faced with these questions may feel unprepared to deal with the
child's emotions or reasoning.
The story begins with a preschool boy,
Erik, and a friend, Jennifer, happily playing house until an
accident occurs. Jennifer announces she will tell her daddy.
Predictably, Erik also responds in kind -- until Jennifer points out
that he does not have a daddy. This in turn raises questions for the
little boy, who takes them to his mother. In this particular story
the mother and father have never been married, although the boy's
father had been an active parent in the beginning of his life.
The mother has probably been preparing
her answers to these questions for a number of years, as the father
had left when Erik was an infant. She has good support from an
extended family. If there is bitterness from the past relationship,
she hides it well. She calmly explains to her son that his father
loved him, and she does not fully understand herself why his father
went away, but that it had nothing to do with Erik. She also
reaffirms that she will always be there for him.
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this review]
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 Of course, this is a mother who says
all the right things, giving her son the comfort he needs, the male
bonding with other male family members and so on. Not all single
parents do as well with this situation, which is where the special
section for single parents at the back of the book can help. It
includes these topics: Divorced Parents, Never-Married Parents,
Honesty is Essential, Stress Positive Points, Totally Absent Father,
Importance of Feeling OK, Your Own Feelings, Male Role Model, "Right
Time to Talk," Risks of Cover-Up, and If Daddy Returns.
The author had spent 16 years working
with a teen parent program in southern California before writing
this book. She brings a great deal of practical expertise and
believability to her story. The illustrations by Jami Moffett are
adorable as well as comforting.
Although the book is written from the
perspective of a family with a mother as head of the household, it
could be used by fathers also facing these questions. "Do I Have a
Daddy?" is also a good story to read to children with both parents
residing in the household. Almost all young people beginning a
school career will come in contact (some for the first time) with
children from single-parent homes. This can help these children be
more sensitive to the feelings of others and bring about
communication with their own parents about fears children may
develop that the same situation may occur in their own family.
To check out
this book or others concerning similar topics, visit us at the
Lincoln Public Library, 725 Pekin St., or call us at 732-5732.
[Louella Moreland, Youth
Services Department,
Lincoln
Public Library District]
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