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Changing children's eating habits

[MARCH 22, 2003]  URBANA -- At the end of a long Saturday spent doing chores and running errands, it's tempting to do the quick and easy thing and patronize a fast-food restaurant on the way home from the mall. Fast food isn't necessarily bad food if you make good choices at the counter, said Karen Chapman-Novakofski, a professor of nutrition and a registered dietitian at the University of Illinois.

Choose the grilled or broiled sandwiches over the fried ones, substitute a salad or baked potato for the fries, and choose diet soda, low-fat milk or water to drink, and you can feel good about taking the easy way out, she says.

Chapman-Novakofski knows that fast-food habits are hard to break, so she suggests making little changes that are gradual. Maybe you can't resist french fries, but you can buy a smaller size or share an order.

Although childhood obesity is approaching epidemic proportions, athletic kids or kids who are going through growth spurts can eat a lot of food without gaining weight. If calories are not the issue, she advises parents to think in terms of lowering fat and making sure the diet is a little more balanced.

"If your teenager wants the biggest cheeseburger on the menu, pair it with a salad and ask him to eat the salad first. He may not get to the end of the monster cheeseburger." These small changes are the key to changing bad nutrition habits, she said.

Children tend to be more active at certain times of the year, but they maintain those eating habits during months when they're more sedentary. Chapman-Novakofski said that modeling good eating and exercise habits for your children is more effective than trying to shame overweight children into cutting back on potato chips.

"Exercise can be as simple as dancing in the living room before dinner. It doesn't mean you have to invest in a whole new fitness wardrobe and put yourself on exhibition. Any kind of movement and activity will help," she said.

The nutritionist cautioned parents not to demonize certain foods, which may only make your children long for them. "I wouldn't suggest never having a cookie in the house. What you don't want to do is eat a whole package of cookies in one night," she said.

A ravenous after-school appetite is often satisfied by the first thing that's available when children come home. "If I leave a bowl of little candy bars out on the counter, they'll eat those. If I leave a bowl of red grapes or strawberries, they'll eat the fruit. You have to experiment with what your kids will eat," the nutritionist said.

Another way to influence children toward healthier foods is to let them cook. Chapman-Novakofski says this works especially well with 10- to 15-year-olds. "It's going to be messy, and it may not turn out right, but it does get them invested in the meal. And you can put your two cents in about adding a vegetable here or a fruit there in order to make the meal balanced. Planning meals and cooking are life skills that you want your children to learn anyway," she said.

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A teenager's eating habits are pretty well established, and it's unlikely that teens will be as susceptible to your influence. Whatever you have taught them about nutrition may go out the window at this stage, along with everything else, as they try on new ideas and identities, she said.

"But teenagers care about how they look and how they feel, and if a teenage girl thinks eating a balanced diet may help her appearance, you might be able to influence her that way," she said.

"If a child is active in sports, stress that good nutrition will make her more competitive. Or, if your teens are working hard to get good grades, emphasize that good eating habits will help them have clear, alert minds. The one thing that I've noticed will make a difference is a boyfriend or girlfriend with healthier eating habits," she laughed.

"People eat for different reasons, and hunger is only one of them. They may feel tired and think a cookie will be a pick-me-up, when what they really need is to go to sleep. Kids may also eat because they're bored or because they need comfort," she said.

"Usually comfort is just between the teenager and the bowl of ice cream. But it may mean meeting a friend for a pizza -- even though the kid's already eaten -- because she needs to talk about what her boyfriend said on the phone just now. Food is a cementing sort of activity for friendships."

"We make food the centerpiece of social events, when it should be just a part of them. We all remember birthday parties when our children were small and we scooped plate after uneaten plate of cake into the trash can because they didn't have time to eat. They wanted to get back to skating or playing games."

"An adult celebration is often centered around a buffet table with conversation afterward. We need to carry our kids' philosophy on through life and make food just one small part of the celebration," she said.

[University of Illinois news release]

Interpreting war talk for children

[MARCH 20, 2003]  URBANA -- Children rely on the cues they get from their parents, so mothers and fathers who feel jittery about war with Iraq should confront their own fears and get ready to talk with their children, said Aaron Ebata, family life expert at the University of Illinois.

Parents should limit young children's exposure to war footage on television and act as a filter for the information children receive. But once children are in school, parents can't control what kids are hearing anymore. Parents should be prepared to talk about the war, and Ebata is getting ready to do just that with his own kindergartner.

"My son already has a concept of battles and wars from videos and from TV. I've already told him there's going to be a war and that people might get hurt -- without going into a lot of detail," Ebata said.

"I've tried to answer some of the what, where and why questions. But I'm also going to talk a bit about my own beliefs and values and how I feel about what's happening," he said.

As children get older, those talks become even more important. Silence can magnify the fears kids are feeling. It also becomes important to grapple with the fact that people have different feelings about the war, he said.

"On the one hand, you can say here's what I feel, these are my values and I wish you would feel the same way. Or you can help them understand that other people may feel differently about this and they're not necessarily less American or less patriotic," he said.

If parents are confused, they may have difficulty explaining their feelings to their children, adding another layer of difficulty. "Parents should try to articulate how they are feeling, but if they are conflicted, they should try to say it in a way that doesn't scare kids -- because uncertainty can be scary for them."

"You have to help kids sort out the part that's personal from the part that's political. If friends or family members have been called up for combat, teach your kids that they can support their friends, no matter how they feel about the war," Ebata said.

Children and parents may fear that a war in Iraq will lead to more terrorist incidents in this country. "Managing these fears is tough, but a feeling of control helps. Actually, we are far more likely to die in a car accident than in a terrorist attack, but we don't live in a state of fear about getting into a car accident because we believe we have some control over that."

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"You don't live in constant fear of a tornado either. But partly, that's because you understand something about tornadoes, know there are warning systems in place and have an idea what you would do if there were a tornado. Having a strategy to deal with the thing you fear is useful," he said.

Knowledge does seem to be power, Ebata noted. When a disaster occurs, some adults become information junkies, reading every article and watching all the television coverage. Older children may feel the same way.

If it helps them to have this information, parents should let them have it. It may be an older child's way of managing anxiety, just as smaller children cope with their thoughts and feelings by engaging in "war play."

Parents know their own children and should be able to tell if such exposure is helping or hurting. "If a child appears to be getting excessively concerned or obsessed about something, you should seek help for that. It's pretty rare for an emotionally healthy child to develop an unhealthy obsession just out of the blue," he said.

Other children may benefit more from "doing something." They may want to write letters to a soldier, help out in the community or engage in some form of humanitarian aid so they have a sense of being involved in something bigger than themselves.

No matter how well children seem to be coping, they still need to know that their parents stand between them and the rest of the world.

"Reassure your children that, in any emergency, you will help them. Make sure they know you're going to do your best to take care of them," he said.

For more information about parenting in wartime, visit http://web.aces.uiuc.edu/familylife/war.htm.

[University of Illinois news release]

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